Don’t Discourage Students, I’m Really Hurt

Raghuram Sukumar Student Stories 47 Comments

Comment from Vanan about HSB posting demotivating articles about tough life in USA.

Please do not discourage the students by saying them that education in U.S is tough. Please. I’m really hurt on reading that ‘probation’ post. I can’t even believe a bit of it.

Seeing the comments there, it is horrible. One reader has mentioned that “Learning M.S is a MERE WASTE of money”.. You have also included that reader’s comment in the post. Please HSB.. Remove  those kinds of demotivating comments and please encourage students to do M.S and don’t dissuade them. This is my humble request. Doing M.S is worth every penny. Please don’t let readers to go against U.S education.

Vanan is referring to the post –Life on Probation in USA – Lost Weight, Hair and Feeling Helpless.
I don’t understand , why you call the experience (reality) about tough life in USA as discouraging.

Believe it or not, for those who study last 10 days before semester in India, will have tough time getting through the First semester in USA. Thats the fact.

Lets take 3 kinds of students.

  1. Those who study for last 10 days and score top percentage
  2. Those who study for last 10 days and score average percentage
  3. Those who study for last 10 days and get backlogs

Students belonging to Category 1 will not have problems adjusting US Education system in first semester.

Students in Category 2 and 3 will have to put in extra effort to get though the first semester.

us education tough

Photo/Flicr – cmaccubbin

It was well said by Dens
Professors took classes as if they were on horseback and I was definitely not on the horse back to catch up.
You better get mentally tough and get ready to face worst case scenario. Positive thinking is MUST, but things always don’t go as planned.
Do you expect to portray a rosy picture of US education and life of an international student?
If someone says “M.S. in USA is waste of money”, its their opinion. If you have different view, then argue against that person.
Student Life in USA is Tough for those students who below to following category
  • Never stayed in a hostel
  • Not easy-going with roommates
  • Unable to balance reality vs expectations.

I’m not saying its impossible, but it takes a bit of time to getting used to students from other walks of life. Thats how you know how to deal with real problems.

When you complete your MS from USA, your exposure towards life will be far better. You will start seeing things from different view-point.

Dens, who shared his probation life experience, when he get through this tough time, he will be much better person to face even bigger problems.

There is no need to feel discouraged or hurt. Reality hurts, when your expectations are not matching the reality.

So, instead of asking for just rosy, positive picture of US, understand the reality and learn from others experience.

Comments

  1. I agree with reader’s post. Discouraging posts really take toll on your mind. It takes lot of time to come out of it. I think everything falls in place, if you are organised and competent enough. No need of such depressing stories. You find losers in all walks of life.

  2. OMG, that’s unbelievable, someone said that. I am totally not in favor of this guy.
    I just thank HSB for posting such stuff, so that we guys get mentally prepared before hand.
    I do not mean any offence to what Vanan says, everyone has his/her own perception.

  3. Really knowing/understanding last line “So, instead of asking for just rosy, positive picture of US, understand the reality and learn from others experience.”, is worth more than many billions !

  4. Dear Vanan

    First of all, I am shocked to see a student misinterpret the intricate details of ‘Education in USA’ to such an extent. You seriously do not know the concept of struggle. If you fail (by fail I mean demotivated) just by a blog post then you must seriously not risk anything and hope for the best. But I must tell you ‘no risk no success’ rule will never fail.
    Secondly you cannot make such wild accusations just like that and that too involving the only blog post which I and almost every aspirant follows/contributes/shares! HSB has been like a guiding light to us and I hope that it never goes out!.

  5. good reply. will you please elaborate on the issue: “Professors took classes as if they were on horseback and I was definitely not on the horse back to catch up.”.

  6. dude lyf isnt as rosy picture as u seem 2 have assumed. high time somebody showed u a reality check, dont u think? The post is great for mental prep. If that is enough to disturb u, I wonder what u r going to do when faced with that for real!

  7. Yes i agree with HSB life is a combination both up’s and down’s.”Today i am not worrying because of my failure but i am happy that i can fix my mistakes and for sure tomorrow is mine”.I learnt this attitude when my F1 visa is denied

    http://www.happyschoolsblog.com/f1-visa-denied-spring-2012/
    For what i am happy is i realized my mistakes and now i am working on them to make day better and Brighter.

  8. Will you please elaborate on this issue: “Professors took classes as if they were on horseback and I was definitely not on the horse back to catch up.”

  9. HSB…thanks for your enlightening response with facts of people facing such situation both during their under graduation back in India as well as their approach to their education overseas. Rose that smells do have thorns….do publish such real life situation postings which will enable future students to learn on how to adapt in a difficult situation…thanks

  10. very truee. HSB..! its like that old saying…Hope for the best and prepare for the worst..!

  11. @ Dear VANAN…What HSB is advising …is absolutely correct….Though not that extreme as pointed out by Dens….If u consider Indian Education system and System here…its so different….Believe me u dont have to scram anything….u will love every bit of knowledge shared here and the way of lecture in class…and its very easy to score top marks , if u concentrate in class…nobody sleeps in the back benches like in india…..Exam pattern is student friendly and many times open book exams are conducted….finish ur study and assignments on time….and u will definitely have time for roaming and enjoyment…..giving weekly efforts on weekends will be enough….Lots of internship opportunities will come ur way….u will learn a lot and in a more practical way that will help immensely in future……Thats the way i find it here….and its been a very satisfying experience here…..

    1. hi
      can u elaborate more on the complete MS course and the exam pattern .It would give us a kind of idea what US MS education is like .How much one has to work hard and on what one has to focus.

  12. Its the general case in every walk of life. Life is not a bed of roses. One must struggle to get to the top positions, whatever field he/she is in.
    A very well said dialogue of the movie Border, crossed my mind as I typed the above para: “Life ka dusra naam Problem hai” [Eng: Life’s another name is Problem]. One must learn to take it easy, and come out of it in the best possible way. This also applies to the problems faced by Indian Students when they go to US for higher education. 🙂 Please be encouraged and go on to complete your studies !!! 🙂

  13. I do believe that u shud be aware of every pros and cons of the decision u r taking becz well prepared is half the battle won. Every person need not have the same experience so these articles shud prepare the people rather than scare them . This also depends upon the attitude of the person who is reading the article. So I request people that instead of finding fault with HSB and its members, take the comment in the right and positive sense and be prepared rather than be worried or disheartened.

  14. Hi ,
    what i can say is for the students in the II and III category ( i think i am in second category) who will be joining in the winter or next fall. Kindly go through the courses you will get in fall/winter and try to brush up the basics. Next once you reach here network with seniors to get an idea of how classes and exams will be like. Then once classes starts study daily whatever they teach try to put up atleast 2 hrs for each subject, even if you dont understand try to understand and this will surely help. Once they teach a topic they will give HWs and a deadline of a week or less which will overlap with other subjects tat will make terrible first experience . but if you had prepared ahead it will be very helpful. In India the exams will mostly consists of Theoretical question (atleast 50%) i.e. to test what we know but here the approach towards exams is totally different , they try to test how you are applying what you know to solve a problem. This is what i feel.

    Santhosh

    1. hi
      Can u tell us more about how are the exams conducted and on what basis are the marks given ?
      whats the real difficult part in getting good GPA

  15. I have been following Happy Schools Blog since 2 years. I started following HSB when I started processing to USA and its almost been 1.5 years since I came to US. I still read the posts of HSB. I never found HSB to be discouraging. Those are the facts. But, the thing is, it is hard to digest the facts, if they are not in accordance to our thoughts. If someone says something about the worst cases, it doesn’t mean that, the same case goes with everyone. Yes, there would be many pros and cons in each decision we make or need to make. We have to struggle a lot in the initial days. It doesnot mean that we donot need to later. But, we get accustomed to everything slowly. It is the financial situation that really taps on our head every moment, especially, for the middle class families. On the other hand, there are a lot of pros for studying in US. It is ME who needs to decide if the pros outweigh cons in MY situation. There is no one responsible for the decision I make and that’s what the individuality is, which will be learned automatically if we live in US.

    For example, let’s say I am feeling disgusted and discouraged with just a single comment made by someone. Do you think I can really face the worst situations in my life? not even worst, can I even face a single situation which I didnot expect? Can I really make big decisions in my life?

    I would finally say that, get prepared for the worst cases (not just about the study in US), in any stage of life. If not, life seems to be disastrous even if just a small thing goes away from our expectations.

  16. i am also on probation in US.
    just now had a charred toast..actually just the toasters fault..;-)

  17. For all those, who feel that the post from Dens seems demoralizing.. WAKE UP ! Its the REALITY..

    HSB is providing this wonderful opportunity to know as much as possible about what you are getting into and deal with it. You should be thankful for getting tons and tons of information on the go everyday. Its a chance to know where exactly you stand, academically? Are you cut out for what’s really out there? Slacking off like we do during our Bachelors in India (not everybody but most) and yet manage to get good scores in the end is not gonna cut it in US/UK..

    You should all be thankful for all these information..

    @Dens: A Special thanks to you for sharing your experience. Its incredibly brave on your part to do so in the middle of your own crisis..

    1. Rajaram,

      Who are you? And what have you done in your life to tell us to WAKE UP and telling us that this is reality.

      I have been in USA for last 1 and half years, I got ON-campus job, got 2 internships in summer, now I am trying for Full time job. What are your achievements?

      I was really sad after reading yesterday’s post for quite some time. It took my entire evening to get over it. Life in USA isnt that bad if you work well towards your goals.

      1. @Sumit – Good to see you have settled and making good progress. But, there are few students (and from someone very close to me) had to go on probation. Sometimes its students fault, sometimes its could be professors fault. Life is not easy on probation or wen students get caught for plagiarism.

        One don’t need to have achievements to share the opinion. Think about this, you are asking for his achievement after you have reached certain points in life. Someone above you can ask similar question to you. Opinion vs achievement are 2 different things.

        1. Thank you HSB.

          I am just telling you about the resentment I went through after reading yesterday’s post. It took me lot of time and I had to talk to my friends to get over that sad feeling. You are doing great job; nobody can take that from you. But please don’t post such posts which spread negativity and may cause people depression after reading it.

          1. Thsi post was written exactly for someone you and Vanan. Reading someone’s experience is bring depression, shows you have to get stronger mentally.

          2. @Sumit : Are you insane? What made you resent if someone said life here is difficult. Is that really a valid point to resent?. .chill dude .:)

          3. yeah it’s a damn cause of resentment,,,man,,,this post broke my heart,,and I after getting VISA is thinking about not going to US,,,,and look for any government job and live the life as a DREAMER

          4. @Jagroop: You are coward if you think so. A man who rejects even before attempting has no respect from my side. .

          5. i’m coward,,,actually everyone in this world is coward in one or the another context,,,so no disrespect ,,,

          6. loosers always think same man……jagroop……..whats fun without having challenges .just dreamt to study in usa, and later to quit only because single post………..seems pretty loosers point to say

          7. yeah i’m a loser,,,and happy with that and my family,,don’t like this rush just got 40 more years to spend,,, will spend it in peace,,don’t want no money

        2. Thats Obviously correct HSB…. Its been one and half year and you are still looking for a full time job, Is that an achievement? well then guess what, (touch wood) i already have a full time job while doing my master’s. Point is not that here whether you have a job or you do not, it matters about how one has experience. As you know, “Nothing is a bed of Roses” everyone has to go through hardships of life and motivate someone by telling your same achievements and help them plan too. Not everybody has a perfect plan but your’s might work for you and for others it may take time. All the best Sumit, hope you’ve more success.

          1. Even I am in 3rd semester of Masters. I have one more semester to go.

      2. @Sumit: Its great to hear that things have worked out so well for you. Your current position can be attributed to your academic strength, smarts and perseverance. Its the sum total of your choices and a bit of luck that has come through for you so far.

        But, there are cases where people have screwed up themselves or something else happened which they could or couldn’t control.

        1. …. contd..

          And they are in such a position. I am not saying it`ll be an out and out cake walk, or a simple straight forward life for all but cases like Dens could help others to steer clear of making the same mistakes. If you were going to US in this year or the next, would this experience shared not help you? Wouldn’t you be glad that you got to know how things work there? OR would you rather know just the similar cases like your’s where things have been good? ( In order to be good, you must’ve made sacrifices, hard work and the rigtht choices which is not being disputed at all. )

          My contention is that, HSB provides a platform to hear/know about all kinds of experiences to the potential graduate students, which they should be thankful for.

          –About Me–

          I have a Bachelor’s degree with a modest first class and 2.5 years of experience back home. Currently in UK, wrapping up the Master’s dissertation. I am a category-2 student as per the classification in this post. I am a bit of introvert and have never lived away from the family all my life.

          I only came across HSB 6 months ago after landing here in UK and believe me its been a tremendous help when it comes to the experiences shared by fellow grad/PhD brethren. I just wish someone had told me about it before I came down here or I had come across this blog much earlier.

  18. Survival of the fittest folks. Let everyone have their opinion.
    Every coin has two faces. the face you see will depend on where you stand.
    A good learner sees an opportunity and a learner looks for opportunity. Its up to you if you want to be a learner or good learner. 🙂 That was too much now I guess.

  19. Agree that it makes for depressing reading, but at the same time, no problem in reading about all experiences, good or bad. One will be more prepared if he or she understand all angles while going abroad to study.

  20. Hi Guys,

    After reading this post, I would like to share this i.e., think more than thousand times before changing your major in masters (very very important) my case I was from EE and took CE. Changing major under same department may not be a problem but understanding things would be really difficult until you have some background knowledge about it. Don’t think like I can handle even if I don’t have any knowledge, I did this mistake and suffering with the course work. When your taking courses in masters remember everything will be taught at that level assuming you know all things in flow to the particular course. So its one’s responsibility to be cautious of whatever your gone take as your major.

    1. Hi,
      Its not like that. One of my roomies did his Bachelors in CS and took EE (Wireless Comm) in Masters. Yeah, its true that it gets tough but he puts in lot of effort because it was his decision.

    2. Thanks Santosh for your share… I was planning to change to Aerospace from EC.. Now I do can take necessary steps before I proceed further

  21. Mr Sumit, do you really think those who has confidence in his/her abilities will get sufficiently affected to actually back out from from applying to US just because someone upheld some negative aspects of the difficulties of studying in the US? It is always good to know the potential difficulties because those who are smart will try to figure out what not to do to prevent getting into such situations instead to letting it discourage them.

  22. I am glad HSB isn’t a one way traffic kind of a blog which guides people with tricks of the trade just to get to the US or some other country for study / career motives. Being quite a regular here I can surely comment that knowledge about everything perks / challenges / difficulties will enable each one to decide realistically if he is hitting on the right button. Just being aware of the rosy details is not enough knowing how worse it can get is equally essential to build up one’s forte mentally (however depressing it may be) before one takes the plunge.
    Good work HSB. Kudos.

  23. hey!
    actually i got really tensed reading some previous post on hsb. but it is really nice on hsb encouraging students for their further studies in US. so thanks a lot for ur encouragement

  24. Hey HSB thats really gud post telling both sides of doing MS in US as u categorized i belong to the 2nd section but viewing ur post i have decided to change my taught towards the life & facing the life in a better way………………………..
    And guys dont get upset abt my post i dont think this post match any of the above std but im learning step by step guys & i request u guys to go through this and can post any suggestions thnks guys gud nite

  25. Vanan and everyone who thinks the last post was discouraging, please think about this question once

    1-What Are you really Expecting from HSB?
    I think HSB is here to give us a exposure of [email protected] and bring us closer to reality and helping us to understand what we can really expect from US. And when you are discouraged by reading someones experience and posts, how do you expect to face difficult times?? knowing such situations and problems will help us to get prepared to face such difficult situations.

    There are websites and consultancy’s who are Filtering out the information and giving only the positive side of the picture, attracting students to go to US for their profit. Many students go to US taking their help and feel sad at the beginning because the picture they saw, the way they portrayed US was just a part of the Picture and they will see the other parts of the picture after reaching to US. So don’t you think that in a way HSB is realy helping us out by portraying a complete picture of [email protected]

    I think this blog belongs to him and he can post anything he likes as long as he is satisfied with it, we are just followers of his blog and we started following it mainly because we like the way he present his articles and the way he is getting us together to share our experiences.

  26. I got on-campus job at UG office. I am really thankful to God as well as the dept as I dont have any work to do. Just show up for 5 days at office and study. It helped me a lot in my mid-sems.

    Kind of bored now because I only know two roads – one to the university and one to the grocery store 🙂 Gotta go out somewhr in thanksgiving to refresh my mind.

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