indians mentality

Mentality of Indians : Demotivating and Awful

Raghuram Sukumar Lifestyle 83 Comments

I received the following article from Abhinav Kumar Sharma. I certainly know the response from some of the readers are not gonna be friendly. I’m sharing this article because
of the message at the end and how Abhinav, overcame obstacles. But, I’m sharing this article “as-is” with minor changes in spelling.

indians mentality

Hello everyone. My name is Abhinav Sharma. Only few people know that few months before I shared my GRE experience and got low score because of lack of motivation. I scored 290 in my first attempt and then I shared my all experience on this blog.

It was obvious to think how everyone here in India treat you if you got low score. I saw my same post on Happy school blog fb page too.

I got really awful replies like, “Such a loser”. Got tonnes of messages which were saying that I am not a true man and blah blah.

But friends let me tell you one thing. This girl lives in North state of America and messaged me to give free tutorial classes on GRE. No Indian sent me single message to motivate me. Yes I got many messages from Indian people to who were nice with their words.

But when I replied them back, I got curt replies. This girl taught me for just 15 days and I scored 310. Now got admit in Virginiatech and Georgia tech too. I am also applying to other countries too.

My experience with people was awful especially my own country people. I am happy that before going to US or any other state, I got to know how people think exactly. I am happy that this girl helped me with no means gave me continues tutorials on RC passages which was my weak point. I can’t thank her enough.

Request to every Indian : Please don’t discourage anyone. Sometimes you don’t weigh your words. It hurts someone. Be human and have heart too.
  • My GRE score 310
  • Quants =
    160
  • Verbal = 150
  • Tofel =
    105
  • IELTS = 7.0 overall

Waiting for other universities replies. Got 80% scholarship in Virginia tech and 60% from Georgia tech.

*****

Abhinav – I appreciate you for sharing this article and speaking out openly. I seldom see anyone who would use the real name while writing an article like this. This shows your courage and your words proves your determination. But, at the same time I don’t agree with your views that all Indians are demotivating and awful.

What do you think? Do you have a story to share about how you overcame challenges in your life?

Comments

  1. @Abhinav Kumar Sharma

    Congrats on your wonderful admits! You are my motivation now!
    Please say your other part of profile like Dept, Acads, Papers, Work exp./Internships… so that we can get a full-fledged idea of your profile!

    Please do reply Abhinav Kumar Sharma… Thanks and good luck!

  2. @abhinav Congrats on your achievement..
    But let me tell you…never generalize based on a very small sample.. India is a country of 1 billion population..you can see all kinds of people….if some of dem r rude to you dat doesnt mean all Indians are rude…

  3. Great job Abhinav! Congrats! Well, it’s sad to know that we are part of a society that enjoys demotivating people. In fact, recall your days in school. Most teachers would keep telling you what you are not good at, that you are terrible at maths or science, etc.

    Same is with a lot of Indian companies too. When I pitch ideas they’ll always start with the negatives!

    None the less, I wish you a great journey ahead! I know this experience will only make you a much better human being.

  4. If you need motivation from others to build your career, you would only go so far. Motivate yourself, don’t listen to what other people says.

  5. Indians !! sorry to say are slave breed of a sort… What you described is exactly how slave societies behave. I think it will take time to change this but we are getting there.

  6. Congrats Abhinav, Do not generalize mentality of Indians with one statement. Infact i have seem many Indians who help others to score really good score. We are really unaware who demotivated you. I have been in Facebook groups and watching many people every day getting help from others. People helping others are indians, i feel you didn’t find proper source to get help. ” We indians have a very bad habit, if he/she or thing helped us in our success, we keep on praising them and discriminate other things or he/she who didn’t help” Anyways congrats for your score and Good luck with rest of the process.

  7. abhinav can u tell me from where i will find that girl who gave you those gre tuts i want it too

      1. Yeah i too need a person like that 😀 , abhinav will she take tutorials for us???

  8. CONGRATS ABHINAV ..

    just remember one thing

    “Fall seven times, stand up eight”

    and I agree with above comments , India is a population of more than billion people.. u will meet all kinds of people so dont give a f**k. Good luck!

  9. Perfect Reply to those who discouraged you! Congratz for you GRE, TOEFL and Admits 🙂

  10. Struggle and less opportunities are the reasons people are ruthless( and rude). In a country where securing 320 + while slogging on the current job and working on research on weekends still isnt enough . Work 12 hrs a day still your future is bleak . accept it people(and i refer to the majority ) wont respect you in India untill you can really do somthing gigantic.Cant expect sympathy from the masses. Rat race man . Look at CAT coaching . This thing you mentioned is hardly the edge of the tip of the iceberg. Anyways all the best ! Cheers

    1. pb937256,

      ” … the edge of the tip of the iceberg” – why not ‘the tip of the edge of the tip of the iceberg’?! Sorry, just couldn’t help pushing your metaphor to the next level.

      It is not because of the “struggle and less opportunities” that “the people are ruthless and rude”. It is because of their insecurities that they are not inclined to help others. The ‘rate race’ as you so eloquently put it, exists because of those insecurities. We just need to understand that at the end of the day what matters is how well one does what one sets out to do, and whether one did it better than the last day – not if one did it better than the other person.

      – aman

  11. Actually we try to get past someone by pulling dat person back but not by accelerating ourselves

    1. I am Glad you realised this,but we at the same time,don’t want foreigners to get a negative impression when they will read “We Indians….” Good that we realised our mistake but it would be better if we could mention something like “Most (not everybody)of the unaware and immatured Indian Population……..,who have not seen the world through Internet” .
      Its really bad to know that many Indians (not at all all)like to look like slaves and servants or synthetic kings.They don’t need safety which comes with quality.They only like to make money by investing in share market or property,not by doing world changing inventions.They will buy cheap products and will realise that someone died in accidents since they purchased good looking unsafe products.

  12. Don’t even think twice. Let be VIRGINIA TECH. Be a part of the HOKIE NATION. You will never regret it. Ask me all you want. more than happy to help with your transition to Blacksburg.

  13. I just cannot stop laughing ! Stereotyping entire Indian people is an Indian Mentality 😛 lol ..

    The author could have said that people shuold not discourage others pirsuing their goals .

    1. Few months back,I was also mentioning”Indian Stupid Mentality”,but question yourself:Are you not an Indian?are u an alien.It would be better if we can mention”Typical Indian mentality which about 80 percent people in India have”.

  14. I don’t want to sound negative, but I had also received a rude attitude from an Indian working at one our client in California, also in past I’ve heard from many living abroad, Indian don’t cheer seeing an Indian, i know many will disagree with me, but lets not hide the reality whatever it be, until we don’t realize our general attitude we won’t be working on to fix it. sharing downside doesn’t mean spreading negativity, just making realize attitude of our majority, and hope this would make, even few, more compassionate especially to our own people.
    Mine is similar situation, from north India, got 292, but couldn’t dare to share with anyone on internet and also lost this fall dream, and now i’m collecting my courage to take it up again, and will try spring, if doesn’t work, then next fall. But will not lose the dream, let me share my thought that compassion, resilience and working and pulling off with others especially in their bad time makes a great employee, entrepreneur and most importantly a great human being, some time even better than one’s who score most of things at first shot as latter brings arrogance. What @abhinav must have experienced in some of the comments.
    @Abhinav
    would you like to share the material and source of motivation helped you in adversity.
    also did you take anyone’s help in shortlisting uni.
    You could reach me at ( email removed)
    God bless you, fighter…

    1. Dude, Never give up. 292 WOW! you got 2 points more than me. Why we watch movies and things which are full of motivations? Watch movies like ‘Pursuit of happiness’ and ‘3 Idiots’. Dude enjoy life. Whatever you have live with that. People won’t miss a single chance to finger at you. Yes i got 290, why the hell i don’t have to share it with world if everyone is reading success things all the time. People say Gandhi ji and personalities like him are great motivators. According to me, i am tired of those people. To be honest, what i think is simple. God gave them their life and me have my life. Why should i have to like someone if you have everything. We just have to courage to work little more harder. Spend little more time on topic in which you are weak. Human can do anything. Gandhi ji was human too with same mind. We have same mind, push your limits and forget about this shity world where everyone will finger at you when you make a mistake and no one will notice when you do something really good.
      Success points : Respect everyone, respect females and just work little longer when you will think “it’s time to bed.”
      No one helped me in finding university. I did it by myself. Material was online downloaded books. Try to work more on aptitude improvement related books + RC passage practice as much as you can.
      I am not a great scorer, but at least i can help everyone with my next blog. Live for your dreams and f**k all those who judge you.
      Note : Don’t forget to watch Russell Peter episodes with your preparations. Enjoy life.

  15. Ahinav you are a sissy!! Whining, blaming, crying, accusing etc etc…you need lots of girls every now-and-then to succeed in ur life!!

    P.S. @Raghu, its Loser not looser…Looser is a type of T-shirt having loose fitting….!!

  16. See Raghu, How people are reacting when truth came up. I am not saying every human is same. Same like that all Indians are not bad. I got too much replies. Among them, majority were discouraging ones. Yes there are nice people too. I took out my feelings and wrote it. It’s my life. People won’t stop bitching about you. See the first comment lol It made me obvious smile. At this moment, my whole family and my best friends are reading every comment and everyone is saying what the heck to this world. When truth came up from my mouth, “logo ko mirchi lagti hai, jab koi apni race ke baare mein aisa sune”,said by my professor.
    Anyways my main motive was to deliver my words to all those, who sent me hundred’s of annoying messages. I want to thank everyone for every single message. They really boost my confidence up.
    Remember, God made every single human with different mind. So it’s not about every single person.

    1. Abhinav,

      First of all, Congratulations to you on getting admitted to two very good schools and getting scholarships there.

      I wanted to say something to you … actually, two things:

      One: You have had a very good experience, in that a total stranger guided/helped you. Now please, as they say, pay it forward. That is how we’ll be able to make this world a better place.

      Two: You say, “God made every single human with different mind”. May I be presumptuous enough to suggest to you that you google for ‘The Four Horsemen/Richard Dawkins/Christopher Hitchens/The God Delusion’ and explore some more. To save you some time and effort, here is a quick link: http://goo.gl/gEs7G .

      All the very best to you, and remember, pay it forward.
      – aman

        1. Hi,
          Just to avoid any confussion:Note that there are two persions with the same name.The above one is not me,so please don’t confuse while replying back.
          I will prefer using my name:”Aman Shah” to avoid confussion.

  17. I agree with you!Raghuram and its very good to see increase in number of people like me like Rancho of 3idiots.(Infact I am surprised that character of Rancho is similar to mine.I am inventing a gravity( Gravitational energy) powered Engine and a final year student.I less less marks due to bad writting,get extra time for writting exams,but invet something which others don’t )
    In India,people don’t respect science.Old buffaloes in India think that its easy to understand science and Enginiering than MBA education or CA Education.They don’t want to understand student’s problems.

      1. Just to add.I am planning to study Masters in Enginiering physics in Germany (English version)and you will be surprised to know that minimum qualification is your 12th standard and Bachleor of Enginiering Syllabus copy,a certificate for English as laungauge of instruction or Tofel/IELTS score,A B.E. pass certificate only.They don’t need any percentage cutoff marks,they don’t need GRE scores(May be needed for Visa).And yet that particular university as of now produced 13 noble prize winners,2 in physics.
        And education in Germany is highly subsidised by government there.In India,30 percent have no right to any education.

  18. The day I landed in US, an NRI lady here told me “Beware of Indians the most here. They are the worst kind”. Been here just 2 weeks and god knows that advise has come true. I like Americans’ no-shit attitude more now…they are polite, frank and open with you and I have received more help from them. Well, some Indians here are nice too, but some have given me real hell.
    @Abhinav : its good you have the capability to face your failures. But I find you a bit emotionally immature. You have to be extremely mentally strong here else you will be pulped. Its nice to find kindness amongst discouraging pessimists. But try to solve your own problems from now on. There wont always be kind people. Trust no-one. Be extremely careful and selective of your friends. Good luck 🙂 🙂

    1. A says,

      You find Abhinav emotionally immature. You must have a really high opinion of yourself. Not that there is anything wrong with that – thoughtful and well placed self-confidence can take one places. But unless someone points it out to you that your attitude/thinking reeks of cynicism and distrust of other people, you will not begin to introspect and try to correct/improve it.

      Trust no one you say. Distrust of other people does not, and cannot, breed “emotional maturity”. The only thing it will breed is depression and migraines, for one will continue to brood over who said what and who did what.

      I do however agree with your advice that one should try to solve ones problems on ones own. Having said that, there is no harm in seeking help. If anything, those who are willing to seek help can progress faster and can go further.

      – aman

      1. @Aman : I am not asking him to be a cynic. I was advising him to be very careful of people. Be wary of choosing friends. Do ask help, but not so much that it becomes a habit and you cant function independently. You might not be aware of the culture here. If you aren’t emotionally strong and independent, you are screwed. Got it? having said that, stop twisting some good advise into a psychological morality 😀

  19. Self motivation is the key.Great people like Gandhiji,Mother Teresa, etc and their lives should be your motivation(if you are looking for motivators).
    You alone are responsible for chalking out your life and you alone will be enjoying the fruits of your labour.(of course your dear ones too).

  20. Congo ! Abhinav , please help us in guiding and let us know those tutorials .. all the best bro … you are into one of the best univs.. have a great career ahead

  21. Its a great post, Abhinav.

    You are absolutely true about the attitude you were talking about Indians. Well, I ‘d rather refer to that kinda people as Cocky people and not Indians.
    May be you just came across all the people who are happy to criticize and think that’s heroic.

    What I think, “I don’t give a damn,You are a loser,You suck-attitude” is not equal to “being brave or being a “man”. Because that’s just “Immature”. So, We can happily ignore them.

    But you n me cannot change those kind of people. They are everywhere,not just in India. In USA as well, you see even more terrible people. 🙂

    Its okay and natural to get hurt and even helpful sometimes, it will boost you up to achieve something,just as u did.

    Wishing you long way ahead!

    1. Mansa,

      We can, and should, change “those kind of people”. And here is how:

      1. By paying it forward. The more people that pay it forward, the sooner attitudes will change. Be good to other people. Help others.

      2. By not doing a ‘tit for tat’. Such thinking has been the bane of human kind. It – the sequence of revenge – won’t end, ever. So one has to be thoughtful and strong enough to be able to say, “What I did was bad, and this is why. What you did is bad, and this is why. I hope I hadn’t done that, and I hope you hadn’t done that. We should have done this, and this is why.” Think people, think. Reason with others.

      – aman

  22. wow ! this is a must read ( with comments ) , all emotions here are so amazing .
    lesson learnt : all people are not same ,its just some times we have bad experiences .
    congratulations Abhinav Sharma . and thanks HSB .

  23. Hi Abhinav Kumar Sharma. Firstly Congratulations on your scores and I appreciate the girl for her sincere efforts in training you.. Please do not generalize all Indians.. The creator of this blog is an Indian too… And I couldn’t thank him more for spending his time and making an individual grow. One of my close friends recently graduated from Georgia Tech. If you are planning to choose this college and you were looking for any kind of questions pertaining to the same, you can contact me and I can refer you to that friend of mine. Once again congrats Abhinav. I am so happy for you.. 🙂 🙂

  24. Aman,

    You are right.

    Yes, we need to help each other and should talk these kinda people out of it.

    But, We see in Abhinav’s post that there are many such people. So, I would just say I don’t have time for them.

    I don’t want to be cynical about this.But,I absolutely try to change the kinda people, as you said, but to only those,who worth that kind of talk.

    Like someone said,”Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” 🙂

    1. Mansa,

      First of all, thank you … for keeping it civil. These days, invariably, an exchange in forums online rapidly devolves into a mud slinging match.

      Don’t you think ‘those kinda people’ are the ones that need “help” the most?! 🙂

      Actually, if one really thinks about it, an argument or even just a conversation with ‘an idiot’ will be more mentally stimulating. But I digress. It is precisely because, like you said, “they will … bring you down to their level and beat you …”, that we need to be able to engage them in a thoughtful conversation about why and how they can change their attitude, their way of thinking.

      – aman

  25. Hey abhinav!
    I scored a 302, but i am not at all satisfied with my score. I can relate with you very well cause even i was patronized by people on receiving these scores. Can you please let me know what did you do inorder to improve your scores?
    Thanks!

  26. Hi Abhinav Kumar,
    Really motivating article…but can you please tell me how did u improve ur score drastically.

  27. Mr. Abhinav can you share what that girl motivate you? and how did you got 310 ? It will help many.

  28. you are judging mentality of indians based on this, you are a grown up act like one
    no one will tell you did a great job and give you a star, you are not in school anymore.
    if you don’t change your attitude you will not survive any where in this world.

  29. hii abhinav, there are lots of people who are an expert in demotivating but does nothing for help…abhinav, its really good to know that you got good help from good source. no matter which country you go, have a open mind. when you are in another country, you are international. so search help and resources from other country people too, don’t just stick hard to indian community….from my personal experience, just one advice…. before asking for help to anyone (especially indian people), try doing that by yourself. if you don’t, you might face the same humiliation i faced from my fellow indian classmates. of course, not all of them were bad. i have some very good indian friends. but in most cases, be careful and be self sufficient.

  30. Hi Abhinav, Congrats….
    Could u pls tell me how did u score 310? I am also in the same position with a low score. It would help me as well 🙂

  31. Well! Thanks a lot Abhinav, for such a frank article.. Along with these things, you unknowingly gave us all another message and that was to back ourselves up no matter how wrong things have gone for us and no matter how much you are taunted and criticized by others. Your courage and ability of not giving up your GRE preparations is very much appreciated. This is pretty much a wake up call for all those who sting people with their words.

  32. It is all based on his own experience he has written about Indians. He cannot also survey all 110 billions of Indians. We educated Indians, most of them, are shrewd and crooked especially among contemporaries . Because of competitions. This is purely happening because of, struggle for existence and survival of the fittest.

  33. Congrats Abhinav for the admits! I agree with this post. There is less importance given to appreciation in India. It should be realized that appreciation and motivation are the best things that can be given to any person to bring out its best.

  34. What I personally feel is that all Indians should be ashamed of this gentleman Abhinav Kumar Sharma & of Happyschoolsblog too, if once we Indians could not help Abhinav, he is praising one American, but has he ever praised any of his friends, Parents, Teachers who have brought him up to this level.

    Secondly I dont find even any one commenting on some one like the way he is exaggerating. Why Happyschoolsblog allowed such a deteriorating remark on their web site is some ones guess.

    Hundreds of Indians are scoring less on first attempt, how does it matters, if a person is like Abhinav, who can use the word Indians, just for the sake of one help by some one, than its shame on him.

    Happy schools blog should discourage such people to bull shit fellow country men for their own weak nesses

    Also Abhinav even at 290 universities better than Virginia Tech & Georgia Tech can admit you, better be educated than to blame fellow country men for your faults.

  35. congrats bro on your score…… but this is not a way to generalize all indians, you born in this country and you should thank god for that… we know that there are some unwanted element in this blog but this doesn’t mean that all are the same…. i got 306 in gre only due to effort of raghu( founder of this blog) and many more friends on this blog who guides me evry tme durring my preparation and all were indians, this could be happened by chance that you got wrong one otherwise evry 1 is helpful on this paarticular blog, so you don’t have to say like this, i apolozise for having harsh words with you and once again congratulation’s dude., i m really happy fr you…. 🙂

  36. I agree with Abhinav. But with a small change. Not all Indians are like that but majority are. I myself experienced with

    I messaged to around 15 Indians who are now pursuing their masters in Germany and got reply from 3 people out of which 2 helped me with my queries and one said that she is very busy with her thesis and she will get back later.

    And no reply at all from the rest of them. If they are busy they can tell that. But ignoring message like they never got any thats really mean.

    1. Spandana,

      Look at this way – your hit rate i.e. the number of people who replied to your emails vs those who didn’t, is 20%. That sort of a return on investment (in your case investment of time and effort), if you were to invest in forex or commodities market or stocks, would make you the envy of rest of the world. You’d be declared the next Warrne Buffet my man/woman(?).

      I agree with you that one should atleast have the common courtesy of replying to an email. But even if a few people didn’t, its alright. Don’t let that get you down. Try to give others the benefit of the doubt, and you will be happy.

      And remember, as I’ve mentioned a couple of times earlier in this forum, pay it forward, always.

      – aman

  37. Hi Abhinav Kumar Sharma,

    Many Congratulations to you on your achievement; and oodles of thanks to the young lady. I truly appreciate your courage to come on line with your experience without hiding your identity. In a way you have set an example to many other who get demotivated in such a situation and change their path, but you stuck to it and achieved what you wanted.

    It is true that some Indians do ting others with their words, I assert so because a few years ago when I could not get married a family friend called Mrs. P. Dube living in Nagpur too criticised me saying that since I have studied only M.A. in Psychology so there is no way that a good boy will want to marry me. And today I am a happy SAP Consultant.

    So let barking dogs be barking dogs.

  38. you wanna people to believe you got admitted to georgia tech and virginia tech with those scores , tell this stories to some other people.

    1. Everyone,Just neglect Santhosh.Whether I believe or not on getting admission in Virginia Tech,I simply believe that whatever Abhinav says is very very very Correct in all aspects except that he should mention that “90 percent” people in India discourage,not that everyone discourages.

  39. Hi ABHINAV,
    Please tell us your profile that made you get admit in GEORGIA Tech… Coz. u got an admit with 310 GRE score.. So your profile must have been awesome! Tell about your academics, major and papers. Plz reply ABHINAV!

  40. Being an Indian here I ‘m not going to curse any Indian, because it is all up to an individual to thing about whether plus/minus. But yes, I do agree with you that all Indians are not same and same time with Abhinav that one must be careful while writing/saying that your words must not hurt anyone. Although, I have no such success experience with me so far..(hope I will be sharing here in future) but I would like to end up saying that such pointless thinks are because of the people who are ENVY of their own contacts! n most common among girls…..I GOT HAPPY WHEN I SAW THE HEADING OF THE POST!! BECAUSE THIS IS THE HIDDEN REALITY of what this bolg says!!!

  41. Congrats Abhinav. I agree with Raghuram that not all should be considered same, though no one here would have helped you like the girl did, but definitely terrible people are all over the world not just here, so just ignore them. Have a great career ahead dude!

  42. hey Abhinav… Congrats for your improvement of score 🙂 I agree that some people try to discourage others no matter where you go. Same is the case with some Indians. Not all are the same.

  43. Also Abhinav in future if you find yourself in a similar situation don’t get discouraged. Look at it this way. All though as you say there were many people who mocked you for your low score. there was one person who wanted to help you.. 🙂

  44. While GRE scores are important, they are not everything. I dont know which all people demotivated you but IMO if you have a really good profile, US universities will usually overlook lower GRE scores (I’m not insinuating that your previous score of 290 was low).

  45. please somebody let this fact passed to abhinav sharma … when there are 100 crores of people aithe much less abundant. everything is race and selfish fight and when u grow up in such atmosphere automatically u get adjusted and ur behaviour to others will always be demotivating because in the heart of ur heart u will be actually happy because they failed…. yes the strict race has made us so and it will remain so

  46. I admire abhinav kumar sharma for sharing his experience without any hesitation.one thing i can say is one can say many of our fellow beings are selfish and an unknown guy may help us better than our dear ones.

    1. congrats. I’ m agree with the abhinav also he is lucky to get such help.If u can guide me how to prepare for gre,because I’m also preparing for gre and I have only 8 months for it.
      good luck

  47. Congrates Abhinav for such a great achievement and congrates to that girl also for her effort.

    1. well, even i had the same experience 293. Preparin it again, really loookin for a partner. Study alone n keepin motivatn up is difficult. But thn am tryn to get a better score diz time.

Leave a Comment - Your Thoughts Counts

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.