My Daughter Was Physically Abused in USA

Raghuram Sukumar Student Stories 19 Comments

Comments posted by a parent about what her daughter went through in USA while studying Masters degree in USA.

If you are abused by anyone please report to nearby authority or campus police.

The above article (The Most Bizarre and Nerve Racking First semester in USA) has belittled the miseries my daughter had with her room mates (All girls) soon after she landed in US for her MS.

My daughter was the youngest of the five girls.

But she was the only one to get RA , since she had research experience in India.

Problem started with this.

Other girls started treating her like second class citizen.

They could have been easily booked for Physical abuse or ragging. But we did not opt for it.

Four months my daughter suffered and moved out when a suitable accommodation was available.

Physical Abuse in USA

cycle of violenceSorry to hear your daughter was abused. I hope she’s doing good now.

What do you mean by, you opted not to report physical abuse?

One phone call is all it takes. Just dial 911 if someone is abusing you.

Unlike in India, you don’t have to be scared about the person or influence their family has with officials and society.

I don’t know why you decided not to report the physical abuse. Maybe because you were concerned about their future?

You haven’t realized that they could be doing the same to other people in the future. By not reporting it, you are putting several more people at risks.

While in USA, you take care of yourself. You will don’t have to suffer at expense of others.

If you see something is not right or suspicious, abused,  just call 911 and report the incident. You don’t have to be scared to call the Cops.

I called 911

I was driving back from Washington DC. We started around 10 AM so that traffic will be less.

Interstate I-85 in Virginia will be pitch black with tall trees on both sides of the road.

It is a 2 lane road.

I was in the passenger seat, responding to questions posted at Happy Schools Blog Facebook Fanpage.

When I lifted the my head to look at the road, I saw a huge piece of metal, about 20 ft in front of us. We were driving at 75 miles per hour.

Driver/friend saw the metal (like front bumper of a truck had fallen off) fraction of second before I did. It was blocking 90% of lane in front of us.

So, he steered to right, a sharp cut at 75 miles per hour in New Honda Accord and then sharp left to stay on the right lane.

I could feel the car’s suspension dip to right side and tilt. But, second sharp steering correction stabilized the car.

I took the phone within next 3 seconds to call 911. Told them we are in I-85 South between Mile Marker there is huge road block.

We could have driven without calling 911. But, someone else  driving behind us could hit the bumper and they could die.

Report Abuse and Other Suspicious Activities

By not reporting abuse or suspicious activities, you are in fact putting someone else’s life at risk.

When people are far away from home, they tend to help each other and be supportive at hard times.

Things like this are very rare and uncommon among Indian Students. I have seen roommates have misunderstandings, but not abuse.

Have you guys faced similar experiences while in USA?

Comments

  1. I wanted to tell the parent and also the HSB fans that this might not be the first attempt of those roommates of that girl. There might have been such incidents earlier also. The point is if those people who were abused earlier had filed a complaint against these roommates then such an incident wouldn’t have occured. So please dont step back when such incidents take place – even if it has happened with your neighbour.

  2. For a while, I thought, It is supposed to be like sexual abuse, teasing, or ragging etc… But now, the reality seems like waste of words after reading this nonsense article here… RUBBISHHH!!!

    1. Surhaz – You have to understand, words don’t express feelings. Only those have have gone through the tough times can speak out. If someone’s mom is posting that they had to consult an attorney to seek out for option, then there should be something. Good to see she came out to create awareness. You can’t expect a parent to post all the details. i think you should be going to a movie or read a crime novel to satisfy your expectations of teasing and ragging.

    2. Surhaz – HSB has been very polite on you but I wont. If it were your sister or your mother getting abused there, would you mention all the details? A parent has taken steps to bring about an awareness and it is to be appreciated. I’m not surprised, your Indian turrets is acting up – Idiotic, pathetic, senseless and disgusting. People like you set a bad example – What qualities a person should not have. Sad to see people like you in this useful well of resource.

  3. Hi All,

    Thanks to HSB and others who have suggested ways to over come such problems. My daughter was very much aware of 911. We have friends and relatives who are settled in USA for generations. People like Anisha Kamble should know that others sympathy will in no way solve such problems. We consulted a lawyer in USA and acted according to her advice.I do know the difference between physical abuse and misunderstandings. May be some people find it difficult to believe, since I had not narrated the incidents. Anyways she has moved out and fine now. All said and done my daughter was mentally strong and she did not allow all these to bother her academic performance. My idea of sharing was not to create sympathy but awareness so that people are prepared to handle such situations..

    1. Well then that’s good to know! It would have been nice to read this earlier, I wouldn’t have got so hyper then! Apologies! But I sincerely hope that the girls who troubled your daughter saw the error of their ways, or it’s just going to be another person who is going to suffer in place of your daughter.

  4. Sorry to hear about your daughter. However all being said being treated like a second class citizen is not physical abuse. I am just saying your choice of wording is not correct. Secondly you or your daughter should have never accepted this treatment and it’s so sad educated folks are not working hard enough to correct this injustice! Lastly rest assured this country takes all sorts of abuse physical/direct/indirect very seriously and if you firmly believe you are on the right side it’s worth the fight. I will stop here because quite frankly I am confident most of the folks here would agree to my stance !

  5. even you can report it right now !!! if you are sure that , your daughter is not wrong or your daughter did not do anything wrong , i will advice you to report it , so that those people can get lesson

  6. just make a call to 911 they will do the rest unlike in India the response will be so good from police dept. Just carry pepper spray with you in case…

  7. I agree with Anisha Kamble, I mean, If the daughter was abused then how can one even think about the others. I am guessing that misunderstandings are exaggerated and reported as abuse by the person who reported this.

  8. I’m sorry, what? Is this person expecting sympathy? I really find it hard to believe. I wish HSB wouldn’t highlight such comments because there isn’t even any way of finding out whether they’re genuine or not. The advice that follows from HSB is great, and the highway incident is a great example too, but there was absolutely no need to mention that comment, it would not have affected the value of the rest of the content.

    “My daughter was the youngest of five..” So? Was she 5 years old? Was she incapable of standing up to the others because of her age? What stopped her from seeking help when she knew she wasn’t in the wrong? Were you so concerned that her stay in the US didn’t come into jeopardy that you allowed her to get abused (if it really happened) and didn’t do anything about it?

    “They could have been easily booked for Physical abuse or ragging. But we did not opt for it.” Easily booked? Not opted? Are you freaking kidding me? And then you go and write it in a completely random comment to a blog post that had nothing to do with abuse? What is wrong with you? If this really happened, I hope your daughter is doing well now, and I sincerely hope you do more to look out for her (and she stand up for herself) should she ever fall into a similar situation again.

    1. that was a gud post my friend when ever an person he/she is out of his/her home land or home they have no one except him/her self……………………

    2. Thank you for your concern. Did I ever mention that we were helpless,ignorant and did not know how to tackle the situation????? By all means we know that USA is not a banana republic. What the room mates did to my daughter definitely comes under ragging and physical abuse under American Law. We solved the problem in an amicable way considering other girls future as well.All is well now.

      1. The way you replied is not proper Mr. I just lighted the way to narrow down, if you know all the things that u know means why you replying to me in a sense which doesn’t seems to be in an ethical manner. just look at the way you replied to me above. This is the slang you used “Did I ever mention that we were helpless,ignorant and did not know how to tackle the situation?????”. I do not know whether you are ignorant or omniscient about united states. Don’t use these type of terms in this forum or else you have to signup for what you have typed……

        1. What she said is perfectly right. I don’t see anything wrong in what she said and she conveyed in polite manner.

    1. I too think the same way as you.

      I don’t understand what is abuse here ? and why is the title of the post ” Abuse ” ?

      Anyway foolish silly post.

  9. I am sorry about his. It is not surprising to hear this. These things expected to happen where competition is high. Only way to do well here is develop confidence and physical strength. I could get this by joining martial arts school where they will teach you self defense.

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