Girlfriend Applying to Same Universities. Can We Stay Together?

Phot Flickr - gareth1953

Interesting question from a reader about applying to same universities with girl friend.

I have seen girl/boy friends applying to same schools, staying together and now they are married.

They came from different places, fell in love, lives together.

I have scored 1400+ in GRE and my gf has scored 1400 in GRE. My TOEFL score of 100.
We are applying in same universities.  Is it okay? Will the university accept 2 students with very similar profile and from same college and with a same score.

Then after moving to US we will like to stay together.

Can you throw some light how it is possible. Do the universities offers housing in which a couple can stay together.

Is it possible for Indian students to get apartment their and live together?

Same Universities

Lets not talk about your chances of getting admission in same universities with similar profile. Let me suggest you a different approach to get admission.

I’m sure you should have planned to write unique Statement of  purpose to make your application stand out.

I would suggest the following. In your statement of purpose, mention that your girlfriend have also applied to the same university and request to give admission to you and your girl friend.

Do the same in her Statement of purpose. Include your name. It will certainly increase your chances to get admission in same university.

Can you include that you are applying together?.

I have seen brothers and twin brothers, sisters, twin sisters applying to same schools. This also, sends a message to the admission committee. Give admission for you and your girlfriend, else we are going to different university.

Apartments in USA

After moving to US we will like to stay together.
Can you throw some light how it is possible. Do the universities offers housing in which a couple can stay together.
Is it possible for Indian students to get apartment their and live together?

Why not? You don’t have any restrictions on who you can have as your roommate. Now, its upto you guys to decide, whether to go with single bedroom or double bedroom apartment.

Double bedrooms with 2 baths, when shared by 4 will save you on rent.

Did you happen to read about 3 to 4 students sharing single bedroom apartment in UTD?

Now, the question to you – Does your parents know about you guys applying to same universities and planning to stay together?

Update 1

Responding to comment from Anajai that “colleges will not offer admission as package”.

Quoting article posted in USA Today – Education section

Consultant Bari Norman of Expert Admissions has advised academically stronger twins to apply to schools where their siblings might need a boost. She says she has found that schools generally consider twins as a package.

Some schools have even taken steps to attract twins by offering special scholarships. Wilson College in Chambersburg, Pa., has a scholarship for twins and triplets that pays 45% of tuition for each child. Northeastern Oklahoma A&M College provides $440 per child per fall and spring for room expenses for twins and triplets.

Greg Roberts, senior associate dean of admissions at the University of Virginia, says his office has on occasion changed the decision of one twin to fit the other.

68 Comments

  1. Jana on January 19, 2012 at 8:38 AM

    A comment from the Occident:
    I came to this website because of GRE, I’m not Indian and I’m from the Occident.
    It’s REALLY funny to me to read these comments. I can understand that some get shocked because the parents allowed them to stay together. It’s a different culture and I can get it. But saying that letting boyfriends and girlfriends live together is bad for the reputation of the University is SO FUNNY that I can’t even explain. People here live together before getting married so they can know each other better and then get married later. Some even live together to save in the rent! And yes, you are allowed to have sex before getting married and it doesn’t mean that you don’t respect your partner. Finally, it’s possible to study AND live with your boyfriend/girlfriend. It doesn’t mean that you just want to have fun. Actually, here single people usually go to more parties and lose study time having fun than committed people (and yes, having a girlfriend is a commitment).
    This is probably very different for many of you, but if you intend to study abroad, be ready to adapt to new cultures! I’m not saying that you have to do the same, but be ready to accept the differences and don’t think that a girl is a whore if she lives with her boyfriend and that he just wants to have fun…

  2. KHAN on December 20, 2011 at 12:31 AM

    I thought you were gonna study. . . lol!!

  3. naval on December 1, 2011 at 3:54 AM

    good luck guys >>>>??????::::””?>?”:?>??”:?> hope for the best

  4. naval on December 1, 2011 at 3:53 AM

    hay thats cool yar but if your planing this its good but it is not possible in some way some way it is so try your best to do this ,pray for me also same i am also planing my BF already got visa but i am in line should try ,, just hope for the best all ways “?>”:?>?<": i pray that you both get to this

  5. shweta on November 29, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    WHat if I am applying to the same university that my brother graduated from.. and I mention this in my SOP… will this help ?

  6. Uday on November 28, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    Writing your GF’s name in SOP will also give a -ve message : In case admission is granted to both of us, and by chance one of us has an issue and is not able to make it to your university then we shall unfortunately have to waste another seat that could’ve been offered to somebody else.

  7. punit on November 28, 2011 at 11:10 AM

    schools keep strict eye on gf-bf staying together…im afraid ,wat will happen on parent teacher meeting day ,so beware u kiddo!!

  8. Jk prez on November 27, 2011 at 10:53 PM

    Parents do have some control on what their children do in school at USA because children are
    Compelled to be controlled by parents because of finical support from parents, if parents come to know that our son or daughter is staying with friend of opposite sex, then at some extent their feelings may be hurt,
    As studies in USA is costly affair and majority of parents feel that their hard earned money is spend for children education with their control.
    Lastly
    There are certain things about parents and about their feelings and hard earned money in India and similar countries which one knows by experience of parenting and time, not reading views of children

    • Uknown on November 28, 2011 at 1:33 AM

      LOLZ!

  9. Jk prez on November 27, 2011 at 10:39 PM

    Is not there some mis understanding of question,
    Question s can we stay together
    And
    Not
    Will we be admitted together
    As
    Several replies etc. Are discussing more about admission and less about stay,
    Even same for me, I continued with my opinion with point of admission in replies and not with point of stay in question
    Good discussion to learn, understand, know more

  10. Rajendra on November 27, 2011 at 5:00 PM

    Worth to have a debate on this but just not the right place for me to be a part of, Do we have some other blog for these kind of personal matters? HSB, are you in for creating a new blog “Happyfamilyblog” ….. Nothing wrong to ask such questions but you might have to choose a right place for that my friend. “Your girl friend can stay with me”, did you wanted such comments to be floating? Ask in person, you’d get much better solutions. But still one suggestion for you, try to live close (Like same city and locality of if possible sure together) If you are rich enough to afford and live with your gf then go ahead, as a student its not an easy task to accomplish. You would experience when you land here. First try to get a Visa and i wish you good luck for that.

    • Uknown on November 28, 2011 at 1:37 AM

      I have no one in my family who have been for MS. I cannot ask this to my friends 😛
      So, internet and forums are the only option. As I said you cannot do anything about dogs ! But I amazed to see that these low life follow HSB 😀

      The comment system on HSB is moderated and still it got through it that is strange.

  11. Anisha Kamble on November 27, 2011 at 3:41 PM

    Ahahahaha controversial topic! It’s great that you know someone who’s so close to you and has such a similar profile so that there should be a fairly good chance of you guys getting admits from the same schools.

    That being said, and this is just my opinion, from whatever I’ve read and heard about SOP writing, it’s a brief overview of who you are as an individual and what your goals in life are. I don’t think it would reflect very well to say that your friend/partner/spouse is also applying there so you want the school to admit both of you. But maybe the Americans have a different way of looking at this.

    I suggest you guys apply to 5-6 schools so that even if your non-academic profiles aren’t similar, based on at least your GRE/TOEFL/UG the both of you get admits from at least 1-2 of the same schools.

    • HSB on November 27, 2011 at 3:58 PM

      Your view about SOP, college admission essay is totally incorrect. Infact 99% of SOP I have reviewed from Indian students follow the exact same pattern and contents. In other words, its boring. So, far I have seen just 1 SOP that was unique. I suggest you buy books that have Sample SOPs from American students. You will understand the contents that go into SOP.

      • Anisha Kamble on November 28, 2011 at 8:40 AM

        Oh is it? Anyway I’m already done with my applications so it’s too late for me. I don’t get how writing in your SOP that you want to live with your girlfriend would make it more interesting though. I’m not saying don’t tell the school about you and your girlfriend wanting to live together, I’m just saying mention it somewhere else (like maybe the cover letter), I don’t think the SOP is the place for it.

        And I still don’t get how you say “This also, sends a message to the admission committee. Give admission for you and your girlfriend, else we are going to different university.” I mean, there’s thousands upon thousands of people applying to one school. That too this guy and his girlfriend have good profiles so they will obviously apply to some good schools. So why then will the admissions committee at that school care if someone decides to reject their offer (should they give it) and go elsewhere? You make it sound as though each student is some prize and that schools will try their very best to reel them in. I don’t know if that’s how it works in the US, because here in India at least I don’t think schools and colleges will care very much if you reject them, because they can easily find someone else who will take your place.

        And poor guy just wanted to know if it’s possible to get housing for him and his girlfriend together and in spite of having supportive parents he’s getting lectured by readers here hehehehe.

    • Uknown on November 28, 2011 at 1:39 AM

      Ya,
      I am not mentioning it. It is statement of purpose and for sure my purpose for higher studies is not staying with my gf. If it happens will and good else we have to live with it ! 🙂

  12. Prasha on November 27, 2011 at 3:14 PM

    Why are u guys blowing this out of proportion??…The question is practical and applies to alot of us…I hope you two get through teh same university..Please wish the same for me and my bf….lolz..

    • Uknown on November 28, 2011 at 1:43 AM

      Best of luck 🙂

      I am also not understanding why everything which involves a love angle in it becomes such a big thing of discussion. This is the only reason why Chetan Bhagat manages to sell his books in India 😀

      I am going out of the discussion there is no end to it !
      I got my answers 🙂 Have a lot of applications to fill

      • megha on November 28, 2011 at 11:28 AM

        to be frank…evn i like ur candid question ,thz soo good,thz a case wth many of them,therz nthng 2 b discussed abt this ,therz nthng wrng ,at last itz ur life and u r just askng suggestion regrdng this,go aheadh ,i wish u all the best both u and ur gf, all the very best njy

  13. Jk prez on November 27, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    Yes, HSB, your reply is correct,
    In India and many other countries,
    Still decision to apply for admission to particular school, city or country is dominated/influenced by parents particularly in case of girls going for post graduate studies and for boys going for under graduate studies abroad.

    Parents will also have say in case your school is in las Vegas or Bangkok , I am not able to find any top ranked school in both cities, may be reputation of cities for certain particular activities,

    Further, there is major chunk of foreign students from India getting admitted to USA schools, you may reconsider your point or opinion on reputation of school among parents in India and role of parents in deciding/ influence of parents in selecting particular school, city or country

    • HSB on November 27, 2011 at 3:36 PM

      Let parents decide about reputation of school in India. I don’t have anything against that and thats how things work in India. There are several parents who send their daughters to Girls only colleges.
      But, applying the same concept to school reputation in US is not right. Overall, parents dont’ have any control over what their kids do while in US.

  14. Jk prez on November 27, 2011 at 2:10 PM

    Yes, you can stay together, no one can stop,
    if you are sincerely going for studies, then even your conscience or even your parents cannot stop you

    • Uknown on November 28, 2011 at 1:45 AM

      The best comment. Mature and to the point 🙂

  15. Kalhan on November 27, 2011 at 2:09 PM

    @ Whoever feels the university will have moral issues regarding Girlfriends and will differentiate between husband and wife & girlfriend, guys, this is the US, the precise reason we come here is to improve our vision, the univs and even people in general here do not care about your personal life, they want to make you more comfortable in life, come what may. So if you say you will be better off with your girlfriend, they will help you.

    And as far as university telling parents is concerned, guys, this is grad school, dont confuse it with primary school!!!! And in this part of the world, a lot of parents are more irresponsible than their children so it really doesn’t make sense.

    For the guy (i guess his question is answered), i strongly recommend sending out a note quoting your admission numbers, name and stuff to the univs and saying you would like to go to the same univ. It works for friends from the same undergrad college, dont think girlfriend should be any issue.

    Basically, HSB has rightly pointed out, i definitely feel the university will give a good amount of consideration if not going out of the way.

    • HSB on November 27, 2011 at 3:42 PM

      Kalhan – You hit the right point. External viso towards the world is much different to me. If I were not in US, I would have the same same view as the person (I’m not going to spoil my career by mentioning my girl friend is also applying to same university and we prefer to study in same school), but not anymore. My thinking and view of the world is very different, as you can see form comments from students in India. Mist comments reflect the vision towards admission process based on our cultural habits in India. My comments are based on cultural habits in USA.

      • Uknown on November 28, 2011 at 1:50 AM

        I said “But still I don’t want to take chances with our career.”

        Spoil is a very negative word which cannot be related to my sentence in any way 🙂

  16. Ash on November 27, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    At first I thought HSB was being sarcastic when I read the line “mention it in your SOP”… Never knew there’s a whole new story behind it!

  17. Jk prez on November 27, 2011 at 1:38 PM

    In case of twins, husband-wife, brother-sister, it is a matter of pride for parents, school and there is legal relation in it, it can be disclosed to whole world,
    But
    In case of girl friend,
    School may consider you are applying with girl friend for fun
    School may feel that revealing or disclosing such things can affect reputation of school among parents
    And if in such case,if applying students are not informing their parents that we both are applying together, so it means they are hiding the truth and revealing the truth may work against them, more in case of girl applying with boy friend
    Whatever hidden or cannot be revealed means it is wrong

    I don’t think school will support such wrong things
    Also if students are India, parents feeling might also be hurt,

    If parents know about that then girls father will think better get married and go to same school

    • HSB on November 27, 2011 at 1:58 PM

      I was expecting someone who post this exact comment. Your view is 100% correct if you are applying to universities in India. Indian culture is different. Girl friend might equate to fun (not always). But, thats not the case in USA. There is cultural difference on how people look at relationship.

      Classic line – “can affect reputation of school among parents”. There is no such things as reputation of school being affected because of staying or studying together with girl friend/boy friend in USA.

      • Kalhan on November 27, 2011 at 2:18 PM

        Some of these comments sound sooooo melodramatic and right out of a saas bahu serial! There are much much much much bigger issues for universities than to care about a couple staying together damaging the “Reputation” of the college!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Unknown on November 27, 2011 at 2:15 PM

      @Jk Prez:
      Dude grow up !
      having a gf and going to college with her spoils the school reputation :O

  18. munna on November 27, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    Thats your personal life decision.

  19. rahul singh on November 27, 2011 at 9:39 AM

    I TOTALLY AGREE HERE WITH HSB .THIS IS A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF MY FRIEND HE AND HIS GIRLFRIEND WERE FROM SAME UNIVERSITY (AMITY UNIVERSITY). BOTH HAVE BEEN SELECTED FOR USC (COMPUTER SCIENCE) FALL 2011.THEIR PROFILES WERE
    GRE TOEFL UG
    GF 1430 115 74
    BF 1400 116 76

    UNFORTUNATELY I COULDN’T MAKE IT WITH A GRE 1400 TOEFL 110 IN UTA

  20. Appotek on November 26, 2011 at 11:18 PM

    Even I am in the same situation …Me and my gf applying to same universities , same course and same scores …Even am confused whether I have to go as separate applicants or can I mention in SOP ….really confused …I my view the chances of rejection is more if I mention that my gf and me are looking for same universities …

    Any Suggestions

    • Unknown on November 27, 2011 at 1:47 AM

      I am not mentioning it. I don’t think it is a safe bet. Twins and cases of husband wife are different. They will hardly consider a case for a gf. So it is better if we don’t mention it. I have increased the number of safe universities in which we are applying because their chances of we both getting accepting together will be more. If we both get together in any ambi university then there is no problem even if we dnt and get into one of the safe one together then we will willing to compromise on mod university if one gets there but if one gets in ambi. then it is going to be a long distance thing 🙁
      Keeping my fingers crossed. Best of luck. You are in the same situation. Good to hear there are few people like us.

      • HSB on November 27, 2011 at 2:04 AM

        I’m going to challenge your assumption here “they will hardly consider a case for a gf” – While read this, just like the concepts in the book Blink “power of thinking without thinking” I had folowing questions.

        On what basis did you come to conclusion that they will not consider gf? I’m trying to understand your reasoning process.
        Let me go with your line of reasoning – If you think they are not going to hardly consider, what is wrong in mentioning you both have applied together?
        What do you stand to lose by saying your fiancee have submitted application?
        What made you think husband/wife, twins, brothers/sisters, finance will be treated differently?

        Above questions are just based on reasoning, without any facts.

        Next set – based on facts. Did you talk to any Grad school advisor about pros and cons? Have you read any experiences from similar persons?

        When I solve a problem, this is it works. Just like Blink. There will be instant decision based on facts I know from experience. Then comes the logical reasoning based on facts. When both doesn’t coincide, I go based on facts. I’m not arguing here to make you do what I said, but my argument here to challenging your reasoning.

      • Anjali on November 27, 2011 at 2:30 AM

        OP, I think you are making the right choice, please focus on making a great SOP so that both of you can get into same and good school. You both have a similar profile so it shouldn’t be tough. Also, please be careful not to let one person’s SOP influence the other person’s. Avoid similar sentences, same SOP flow. And even if you take separate schools, I am sure that being a mature couple, the long distance would work out fine between you two. All the best!

        • Unknown on November 27, 2011 at 2:12 PM

          Ya Anjali,
          I am sticking to my decision of mot mentioning it in my SOP. But HSB has a strong point that even mentioned it will not be a negative point if it does not help in anyway.

          But still I don’t want to take chances with our career. We did our part, if we get into same universities then well and good else 🙁 have to go through it anyhow.

      • megha on November 28, 2011 at 11:35 AM

        oh there are many with the same case,and this particular topic has got lot of focus cz ther r many facing the same situation …dnt worry ….hope u both get admit into same university …god bless u

  21. Jk prez on November 26, 2011 at 1:52 PM

    Package considering girl friend applying together can not be considered in any way by a top school, but regarding packagevfor twins , yes it is considered

  22. Prasha on November 26, 2011 at 12:02 PM

    Thanks for this question dude…I had the same doubt..
    Thanks for the very helpful tip HSB…I am sure it will be of great help…

  23. Wahab on November 26, 2011 at 12:01 PM

    HSB,

    I don’t think it’s your business to ask if their parents know that they are planning to stay together. That’s sneeky…..apart from thisyou guys are doing good job. Keep it up

    Thanks,

    • Uknown on November 26, 2011 at 2:30 PM

      Yah. I think its our personal thing. But for the info our parents know about our relationship and they are supportive 🙂
      They are happy that we are applying in same universities.

      GROW UP! We are not kids and our parents are not orthodox they understand that we are committed and they respect that.

  24. ..gowda on November 26, 2011 at 11:59 AM

    This is good question.
    Now, the question to you – Does your parents know about you guys applying to same universities and planning to stay together?.

  25. Anjali on November 26, 2011 at 11:55 AM

    I personally do not feel a good university should care about who you are applying with and who not. Universities are looking for capable students who can add to their student pool. They would not give any *package* offer as such. You will both be individual applicants without any advantage or disadvantage at the stage of seeking admission. I would not recommend mentioning that your girlfriend is also applying to the same university in your SOP coz it shows that your first criteria is being with your girlfriend and your career comes later. This is not a good point from the view of an admission officer. So please do not include this in your SOP. The SOP is a very important and short document which should present your qualities as a “STUDENT”, not as boyfriend/son/father/daughter etc.

    However, you both will have a distinct advantage when you finally go to live abroad in terms of huge savings in your living cost. I am going to wisconsin this spring, and because I have been unable to find a roommate, my costs are high. You will also be at an advantage at being able to adjust easily, you both will have each other to deal with homesickness. ( I wish! 😉 )

    All the best, you have a good GRE, please compliment it with a good SOP.

    • Anjali on November 26, 2011 at 11:57 AM

      Also, Graduate students rarely go for university housing, they prefer to stay in apartments. And sure, you will get one, even in India you can get apartments if you are living in with someone.

    • HSB on November 26, 2011 at 12:12 PM

      I don’t agree to package offer is not considered. Check the update in the post.

    • Anjali on November 26, 2011 at 12:21 PM

      About the twins?

      I beg to differ, but what does the University care if his girlfriend is there or not? I dont think they would give any preference to even married couples. No offense meant to the couple, but taking an objective view of this situation, they might just break up tomorrow, it makes no difference to the university.

      • HSB on November 26, 2011 at 12:28 PM

        Universities simply know if they deny admission to boyfriend or wife, they are not going to join the college. When profiles are similar, they will definitely consider both applications. Things work differently with college admission in US then in India where cutoff marks are given more importance then human relationships.

        • akansha on November 28, 2011 at 12:23 PM

          Really loved it- “Things work differently with college admission in US then in India where cutoff marks are given more importance then human relationships.” Thats precisely the reason why I have zeroed it on the US than any other nation to stay and study further..

      • Uknown on November 26, 2011 at 2:40 PM

        Thank you 🙂

        • Uknown on November 26, 2011 at 2:42 PM

          I also think with twins it is a different situation.

    • srinath on November 27, 2011 at 8:21 AM

      hey !! perfect 🙂

    • Anna on November 27, 2011 at 8:51 PM

      Totally agree with you, what really matters in a SOP is you as a Student, and if your boyfriend or girlfriend is first, they could think that you prefer you personal relationship instead of the school your applying. I am in this situation but I decided not to put in my SOP.

  26. Knotty on November 26, 2011 at 11:43 AM

    I have known couples who applied in the same university together with almost similar profiles – none of them got admits. However I don’t know whether they mentioned that their respective partners are applying for the same university – with 1400+ score – may be they me inclined to accept both of you IF there is opening. Remember getting an PhD admit is HIGHLY dependent on openings in a Prof’s research group.
    I suggest another approach- you can both apply to nearby schools depending where your research interest matches to a greater extent. After I got admit, I spoke to my advisor and he said that he would find out the possible opportunities for her in the next semester. 🙂

    Hope it works out for both of you! All the best. 🙂 Cheers!

    @HSB: If their parents know – well and good. If not, they can let them know once they are established and settled in life! I hope they live their life! 🙂 ( I always champion the causes for such people! 😛 )

    • HSB on November 26, 2011 at 12:08 PM

      There was one other comments that asking if their parents know is sneaky. Well, there are practical issues to deal with.

      • Knotty on November 26, 2011 at 12:36 PM

        Practical issues like? All other issues will be same right – as in living with a male. Its ideal if you can stay in a place with a friend whom you know from college/school. If you are in a steady relationship (at least for a couple of year in college) , it’s a good thing!

        Will you please elaborate on what issues you had in your mind?

        • Uknown on November 26, 2011 at 2:51 PM

          I just wanted to know about the possibility of admissions and also facilities for a couple to stay together in US universities.
          I don’t understand why this is becoming a discussion :O

          To all those ethical value people and parents know :
          We both have crossed 21 😛 and our parents are supporting us to apply together. Why will they not ? :O
          I am going to do my Ph.D. after M.S. that is again 6 more years. So shall I wait to see my gf till we get married like in old movies 😀 and waste this 6 to 8 years of my life without being with her :O
          Life is toooo short for that !

          ETHICS !! totally a hyped word. Do you even know the definition of ethics ? how wrote ethics ? Why are you following this as ethic not something else ? 😀

          • cutigal on November 29, 2011 at 7:45 AM

            wonderful…:)



  27. Shishir Katote on November 26, 2011 at 11:42 AM

    applying for the same university is definitely good if you are a couple. that would give you most needed emotional support. but staying in the same apartment is ethically wrong. we are going to america that doesnt means we should cheat our and her parents.

    • Vinay on November 26, 2011 at 1:33 PM

      Two words- Grow Up

    • Roy on November 26, 2011 at 10:42 PM

      How do you construe CHEATING…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Tejas on November 27, 2011 at 2:11 PM

      ROFL…Your comment made my day

  28. Boopathi on November 26, 2011 at 11:37 AM

    What a question man ??? Its upto you & ur GF …

    • munna on November 27, 2011 at 2:09 PM

      yeah why to discuss personal life on forum.

  29. BigMac on November 26, 2011 at 11:37 AM

    Your girlfriend can stay with me ….:)))) !!!!

    • Knotty on November 26, 2011 at 12:32 PM

      ROFL max!

    • Uknown on November 26, 2011 at 2:54 PM

      IGNORED !

      World is full of dogs and they bark 😛 because they are DOGS!

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