My Parents Literally Destroyed My Career – What To Do Now?
Following article is shared by Vardhan.
My Parents ( My Dad ) literally destroyed my career.
I was very much interested in studying M.B.B.S and wanted to become a doctor. This was my life ambition as biology was my favorite subject .
After completing my 10th I was very much happy and wanted to join intermediate (Andhra Pradesh) in Bipc ( Biology , Physics And Chemistry ).
But After completing my 10th exams as I was told to join in some IIT coaching center not IIT Coaching but it was like entrance exam to a IIT Coaching Institute ( Ramaih IIT ).
I don’t know what it was.
I cried in front of them . They never listened to me. They did not know what I really wanted .
My dad’s colleague’s son is studying in IIT so I should do my engineering in IIT?
What the hell is this logic. I was forced to take Mpc ( Maths , Physics , Chemistry ). And I was joined in a rotten hell called as NARAYANA. They tortured me with the subjects I didn’t want to study.
I told to my parents they shifted me to AIEEE Narayana. I don’t know what was going on with my life. And atlast I completed my 10 +2 .
Now The Main Hurdle Entrance Examinations came.
My Dad made me write 10 entrance examinations. I wasn’t selected in any one of them. Atlast I got 43000 rank in EAMCET. And I asked my Dad To join me in Anna University College’s. He refused to pay the donation which was 10 lakhs even when he was earning 50k per month ( Central Government ).
Atlast I lost hopes on my Dad. His foolish decision’s destroyed my career.
I then joined in a college which is 60 km away from Hyderabad. It provided students with no minimum facilities. Now I am in my final year of my engineering. I see all my friends get placed in good MNC’s and All I was remained destroyed.
I don’t have any campus placements in my college . I am not loving the work I am doing. Only one thing that matters me before sleep why didn’t I dare to stand against my father.
I can get into any company with my skills I have learned. But I wont have job satisfaction or I wont live happily.
The reason I am posting this comment because every typical parent in India wants their kids to be engineers. They should talk with children and plan accordingly.
To all my friends and members of this blog.
Love what you do. Enjoy doing it. If you let your dreams compromise, then your story will be same as mine.
To the Admin I am posting this because I want all the members to know what happens if you let your dreams compromise. My story may change the attitude of parents. This is my story.
What do you think about this story?
What should he do?
This what what I would do – Question your thought process about your career
My parents already destroyed my life. I’m 24. Still suffering what to do next. Whenever I try to ask them financial help, they say they don’t have any money. But they will support my brother with huge amount for his luxury life. Maybe because I am a girl !? Now I am being pressurised to get marry. Exhausted!
Pls don’t listen to them , just do what u love , because later you should bear the consequences , I have experienced though . Plss do what u love , and fight for what u love.
I’m going through this I was forced to study computer science after 12th which I don even know the basics of codes or anything I was interested in biology but no one in my family cares abut my dream , all they do is to their child is doing this, his son is studying in Canada, I’m in total mess my life is getting harder it’s online coll though but it’s harder coz theres no one to help uh 😭
I’m so sorry for the neglect you underwent. I wish I had seen this 10 years ago. My story was that I wanted to be a commercial artist more than being a medico. But my parents made me feel ashamed of a non technical degree. Although I loved biology a lot, I always wanted to do art for 3 years before I did medicine. In MBBS, I ALWAYS FELT DIFFERENT AND INCAPABLE (Not because I was incapable but because my parents never accepted me for who I am, I was competent enough to work hard and score 60% in all University exams). But I did have to work very hard. I found mentors/teachers who valued my personality, I realissed that even medicos can have other interests. But still I ways felt like a black sheep inside.
Final year of MBBS, I had a severe break up. I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus much on PG Entrance exam. So I wanted to volunteer and work as a medico. They didn’t allow me to work for 5 years and forced me to study to crack PG entrance. They didn’t think I ‘looked’ depressed either. Finally I broke out and joined a job where I found positive and encouraging consultants. That’s when I started feeling better about myself. All the past trauma of my father’s and ex’s Narcissistic personality had to be resolved. In this 5 years where I wasn’t allowed to work, I secretly took to a lot of spiritual things like join a Buddhism group, join a school of philosophy where we attended classes once a week and met friends while saying I am at the reading room. My mother knew, my father didn’t. Now they somewhere understand that they cannot just get me to do whatever they want. Things are looking better. I am studying for PG with my wish(not theirs). And that is what makes all the difference.
Also, it’s not too late to think of medicine as a carreer. You can give entrance exam for MBBS even if you are in your 30s
My father (monthly income more than 1.3 lakh executive engineer in a government organisation) even could not afford to send me in coaching even I dropped without coaching for neet. What would have been your reaction?
My 11th is next year and i talked to my parents that i want to take biology and want to go for neet but they are forcing me to take maths and go for engeenering and do IIT
I love bio and want to do mbbs . I have not much intrest in math.
I think my career is also going to be destroyed
the same with me want to study arts and do hotel management but forced to do MPc
SAME CASE WITH ME………………I WANT TO DO A BACHELOR IN CHEMICAL ENGINEERING BUT MY RELATIVES FORCED ME TO DO A BACHELOR IN COMPUTER SCIENCE
I HAVE NO INTEREST IN PROGRAMMING
BUT I HAVE MUCH MORE INTEREST IN CHEMISTRY
Then you should follow your passion. Do MS in Chemistry.
My problem now…it’s actually quite opposite …I have a great zeal in getting into IIT which means a lot to me from my around 6th class even my dad encouraged me in that . Even I was joined in a school which teaches all these iit and all …so we hardly learnt all the concepts that we get in our intermediate itself ….I was literally fond of physics….but then after my tenth I don’t know what on earth made him he made me to join in BiPC . I said him a several times but he ain’t listened to me…I cried a lot but also his decision didn’t change ….and then finally in srichaitanya residential college I was been joined and now I was at the end of my intermediate who was going to appear for NEET2020 . But I suppressed all of those…several times I used to like control myself and throw away all those books…..but somehow I’m over it ..I don’t know what happens ….
What are you doing now? You can do btech in agri engg or biotech or bsc then also get into IIT.
Just try to be happy. Even if you dont want to be happy, just try. Things will change for sure.
I completed my 10th class & joined Inter Bipc!! Later, now I’ve Completed 3 months during the academic.Now I’m very confused with this course, Is there any chance to shift to other courses.. During this academic ??
Bcuz my parents were saying that I cannot join in other college or in other course,, as I’ve completed 3 months Of college, Is it true??
Please give me an answer ::!
My 11th is next year and i talked to my parents that i want to take biology and want to go for neet but they are forcing me to take maths and go for engeenering and do IIT
I love bio and want to do mbbs . I have not much intrest in math.
I think my career is also going to be destroyed
I’m actually in a very similar position, except that it’s the other way round for me- I wanted to do engineering but was forced to do medicine. So I can sympathize a (very)little bit, but honestly- your attitude is terrible. Insulting your dad on a public forum when you didn’t have the guts or foresight to tell him rationally why you wanted to pursue med, or blaming HIM for not paying 10L as donation (which is a HUGE amount, FYI) comes off as really immature. And reality check- getting into medicine is a 100x more difficult than engineering, plus the studies are much, much harder. And then the exams for postgrad, which are a whole other level of difficulty. So unless you were planning to buy your way through that too, you would’ve been even worse off in med. So quit whining, be a little resourceful, and see if you could do some projects/research or present a paper at a conference. There are ways to succeed at whatever career/college/stream you end up in, but whining isn’t one of them. People achieve SO much coming from mediocre backgrounds, but you have to work at what you have, rather than bitching at your dad.
I second you ….
Same bro
Even after my 10 I wanted to do cec, but today I am doing mpc. Our parents do not care about our interest, bro to be honest I am dead , if you are doing the work which you hate you are dead. Today my friend , whose parents joined him in cec , he is living a luxurious life , getting better marks and he is happy.
But I, am going to three tuitions and I am scoring less and my principal is saying that I should work hard. When I have an interest for cec , and I always hated Maths, how can I be successful
My parents who wanted me to be in mpc are happy, I on the other hand am telling my difficulties to my friend and you
Today I am in depression because of my parents and their decision
Bro after 10 our lives are ruled by our parents you wanted to do bipc and I want to do cec
Both of us are sad and depressed, and our friends whose parents supported are now successful and we are in depression
But bro, did you not tell your dad about you dreaming of becoming a doctor
Parents till now I used to blame them
But parents are your only wellwishers , they are concerned about your future and career. Yes I agree what your dad did was wrong but , he is your dad and he and his wife love you the most
So bro never blame your parents , adjust and work har and take care of them
but he never said he don’t like to do hardwork every study involves hardwork right but what if he had passion in it as an adult even as teenager after completing his 12th he must take his decisions on his own and if he already had planning in his mind why his father interfere just because his friend son’s studying there what if his friend’s son had an interest in engineering but not his
I wish you’ll get the taste of this same medicine one day then ask yourself whether he did right by typing like this or not sorry for being rude
Exactly same situation. You call this whining? Only the bearer knows where the shoe pinches. Its sad that instead of sympathizing and encouraging somebody,, you are here whining about his ‘should’ve and could’ve’. Calling out toxic parents is not insulting them. He was just stating what he faced. Your attitude is GODDAMN terrible. I had the guts to try my best into making him believe that I can do something for my future. I tried everyday for 3 years. He did not bat his eyes. He might have been in similar situation. Donation would not have entered the chat if his father would have allowed him to study whatever he loved with all his strength and will. Reality check- Getting in med is NOT 100x difficult fyi,, surviving it is. Why are you even jumping on what will happen in post grads? He will mature-up a bit till then, don’t you think so? People like you make fun of mental health issue. You should have asked him to either leave that field, get into something he is interested in or seek help instead of asking him to – STOP WHINING. There are people who succeed at whatever they are put in but what about someone who just can’t? Many people achieve a lot coming from mediocre background,, NOT BEVERYBODY THO. Once again,, calling out toxic parents for there toxicity is not bitching about them. Get some help!
I completely agree with you 😭 iam suffering from same kind of situation my parents know my situation but they r ignoring it and their is no one whome I can ask for help I tried to commit suicide but I know kisi ko apni galti samaj nahi ayegi ulta they will get a chance to blame me again
hi
i can understand ur feeling and the problems u r facing with a pvt college.
if ur still passionate about the medical field than congratulation , because if u work hard acadmically and practically will have better option for job/reasearch in field such as bio engineering, natural design,bioelectronics,biorobotics.
and i can tell u that it will be much better than doing a job in any MNC.
i am an electronics engg. student from up UPTU, with a college where our seniors becomes faculties but still iam practically sound in electronics because of internet,open source, and i prototype things from e-waste.
you can find that many of great invetors created thing that were not relevnt to their field.
if u have lost ur passion make it come again , start a new journy , read reasearch paper , contact like minded people , u can easily do this using internet.
I cannot imagine parents not helping his child, possibly he is blaming his parents, as he is himself a big failure academically.
How can you say he’s an academic failure?
Dear vishal, there are so many thing in this word which we cannot imagine but it doesn’t me it can not.
Dear, at the very first, don’t get disheartened. in my opinion, You may change your field by studying M.S. in any other field which is somehow related to medical field. In this way, your income will also increase. Further if you do PhD in the related field then you will be quite satisfied by adding useful results of your research. This will also aid to other doctors in the world for well being of their patients. Friend, please don’t get disheartened. There are many ways which will surely lead to your desired field. Relax, collect your strength and prepare for your battle. All the best for your future endevour and devoutness.
You need to give your real academic record (SSC percentage, scholarships you have got in the past, your overall intelligence level, IQ, and your marks in PCB in 12 th) so that your side is completely understood & justified. you have only explained your personal angle which is not necessarily true and shouldnt be taken in isolation! if you were an academically brilliant student you surely could have excelled in entrance exams and engineering as well. i havent seen an intelligent person failing so badly just because he was interested in different stream. in engineering, students absolutely have no idea which stream fits their real intelligence level, but they choose one depending upon demand, popularity atc atc. and lateron excel in the chosen field. some (many) lateron shift to MBA and enter into different field.
your story might fetch sympathy from the readers but i feel you are emotionally immatured. otherwise you would have done your SWOT analysis and your parents’ SWOT analysis as well. i seriously dont think your dad is that tyrant as u want to tell. what was your AIR rank of IIT-JEE? IIT JEE contains PCM, Physics & Chemisrty must be your areas of expertise.
and if u r a real fighter and determined, there is absolutely no way you should give up. whats ur age? 20-21? my friend took admission to MBBS at the age of 23 after he completed BSC in physics and 2 yrs of job. He got admission to Grant Medical College in Mumbai (No.1 college, toughest to get into). Now he has his own very successful practice. and i also know an MBBS Doctor in my area who changed his profession at the age of 47, he now is into Share market, he conducts seminars on share trading, financial markets etc in 5 star hotels. earns huge!
Bottom line is, u r living in an imaginary world, u have overestimated your personal academic ability and u love to live in your world. u dont have guts to face ground reality and progress in your life.
For your information you are not the only person who is finding himself in the different field than your interest. many extremely successful ppl had different intrest in the past but are in the different field right now, but that doesnt mean they have failed in their lives.
Be thankful to your parents they dont made you earn your tuition money, but they paid all your expenses till you graduate. In USA ppl move out of their parent’s house at the age of 14, earn their own money apply for scholarships, take huge loans and then graduate with their own efforts. there are no pvt coaching classes like they are in India. you are calculating the your dad’s salary and what ws possible for him to pay for u!! come on!! there are millions of students in India whos parents couldnt earn even 5k per month but many of them strive, do part time jobs and earn BE with distinction. who are you man? overly pampered, self obessessed fool? wake up! and grow up!
Lol he already said his parents refused to give 10 lakh rupees donation
Because their parents are not dominating like Indian parents if Indian kids start working in cafes or somewhere as partime people start treating you gira hua insaan yaha k logo main acceptance nahi h
just be happy for what you are now.
What are you doing now? You can do btech in agri engg or biotech or bsc then also get into IIT.
Just try to be happy. Even if you dont want to be happy, just try. Things will change for sure.
All the people who say “”””He is whining”””” Yall need help. Why the hell are you asking about his academic info? I personally am facing the same problem as him. I have more creative mind than analytical. SOME EXCEL IN DIFFRENT FIELDS. I liked PCM but never wanted to pursue PCM. and because of pressure I cannot score well no matter how much I work hard. My IQ, my life skills is far better than people over here bashing them for his story. Grades are not everything. A fish and a monkey are in a race to climb a tree and you wonder why did fish loose?
dear,
i know your feeling, i understand how bad you would have felt.But please understand that medical field is very competitive in the sense that there are not enough medical colleges in the country.the amount you need to pay initially to get into any of the private colleges is 30 lakhs which i think only doctors can afford because they have unaccounted money.People like us cannot afford the PG seat which exceeds half a crore.Please know that you will not get a government job with M.B.B.S., and if you are an Forward community or Backward community.I know so many of my cousins and friends who finished M.B.B.S. 23 years back had to content themselves with clinical practice which is not lucrative. Whatever your dad did to you is out of experience and worldly knowledge!There is nothing to grieve as you have lost nothing.cheer up you definitely have a bright future, ok?
You have yourself given the answer to your questions is the post itself i.e. don’t compromise & follow your dreams.
You can get into a related field that connects your present with your dreams as few people have rightly suggested above. All the best!!!
Its not late at all. Do your graduation well. Then go to Biotech field,Biomedical Engg ,bio engg , biomedical science etc which are connected to Engg,Medicine ,biology.
As some people suggested , US is a good place for change
All the best
I said the same and several others have said the same. Its never too late to change your field.
Vardhan you can become a doctor if u want… read this link it might give u hope… especially the 6th page “Lessons Learned”.http://www.happyschoolsblog.com/college-major-career-paths/
Don’t dwell in the past, don’t hate ur present… be calm and level headed and plan ur future. U know what u want right, then chase ur dream. Its not the end. Give a try for USA. All the best
USA offers so many unique opportunities to change one’s field. It takes time, but if you have passion, you will find a way to create time.
To go to USA on needs to be determined, confident, willing to give up false hopes about self, and live in the real world! this guy is romanticising his fictitious abilities in the past, denying to face the ground reality, denying to look forward and what is the best in the current situation and most importantly BLAMING PARENTS FOR HIS GRAND FAILUERE! unless he gives up all this, he in unfit for not just USA but anywhere in the world!
i know becoz of the pathetic life you have lead in engineering (i am from a very ordinary clg in Hyd) your heart is filled with hatred and despair..use this as a motivation for achieving something..
Study hard and smart for GRE to score above 330’s..
and if u r really passionate about biology i would recommend you to take GRE subject test in Biology…If you ace that exam you may get admit in good colleges with funding…
Remember Crying over past will gain you nothing and in turn it depresses you…
ATB for u r future..!
Same thng happnd wid my friend. She got into the entrance even and widout coaching, but her DAD destroyed her dreams. Result, she curses him openly. I dont thnk shez doin nythn wrong
‘
Before cursing parents, you have to know, its not easy to be a parent.
Let each person who wants to curse their parents check if they can educate a two children after they get married. If they can educate two children for 22 to 24 years then how much they should earn and how they will earn that money.
RIGHT!
True, she literally left no stones un – turned to convince her parents. her dad said that he needs to save money for her marriage dowry, what the hell is that??? I mean is it a valid reason??? moreover he is not pure, he is in a good position,but i cant name it
Dude… I am studying in similar type of college in Hyderabad and I know how hard it is doing things we loath.
Don’t worry, Life isn’t easy and it doesn’t turn out always what we want..
You can still pursue you dream …there lot of options for you to pursue masters in US in a Biology related field with a bachelors of engineering .
Just don’t worry about past it doesn’t get you anywhere…Follow your heart from now to take decisions and stand to your decisions no matter what consequences…
Just remember that everything happens for a reason and in future you might be even happy for what your father did..
All the best for your future.. 🙂
Harsha – You are a perfect example of how to chase your dreams. How you improved your English to get Awesome score in GRE.
🙂 🙂
I agree with the above comment.
But the first thing you ought to do is, sit with your parents and talk how you feel and explain them what your interests are. Parents of our generation are driven by the society. There is no point in blaming them- they just want you to be the best in the society ( I know its infuriating, but not to accept that will be just living in denial. I had once gone through the exact thing ! ) Make sure you create a positive impression about your career line. Once they are convinced its a good track, its bridge half crossed.
Now for the most important part, DO YOUR RESEARCH. Though, you cannot be a medical professional (unless you want to redo your undergraduation) you can closely align yourselves in the field. One of school mates, who did UG in CS is doing his Phd in Cancer Research. One other guy who did his MBBS is working as a financial consultant in a medical firm.
It is a strange world. Explore your options. I hear there are some great programs in Europe for Bio medical / Biotech related fields. Last but not least, do not lose hope !
Very good comment. I’m goign to create a new post based on your comment.
Looking forward to read it when it is published ! 🙂
its ok yaar…now instead of cursing the past,think how u can make life better..when u have will,there will definitely be a way.. 🙂
dont cry over past. .the past is past. .focus on your present and plan for your future. .its all .
my dear relax go to bomedcal engneerng. your parents treated you really bad but cheer up all s not lost am sure you are not up to 40years. they say a fool at fourty s a full foerever
I was bout to suggest dis only
Dude!!
Hangin there! I you say that your parents make money and if they can sponsor you, look for options man! World is your oyster!! What kinda engineering did you study again? I you did electronics and communications, try for a future in medical machines or medical imagining. Try contributing a little to the existing technology. No point on crying over spilled milk! Last but not the least I was in the same show like you and now I am working in the field that I developed interest over years!! I am sure you can find your passion in other fields!! Stop worrying about parent drama and worry about what to do NOW!!! Grow up man you not a kid any more!!
He can try fields as you suggested (related and combination) or you can completely switch to new field.
Nothing can be changed now. But u still have chance to fulfill little bit of ur dream. Try doing masters which has engineering application in medical field.
Few of you have given positive while others negative comments. I am not saying donation is a right thing. I would suggest instead you should go for your own will and typically speaking then all parents are not same. Mine have said to me they will sell their property if it will be required, thank god I have sufficient funds for my MS. And both my ma n pa are not even crossed class 10th, still they want me to reach the highest possible point. Buddy, you could have refused and have selected MBBS instead, and could have shown to all that you are much better than IITs.
Yes …Parents are willing to sell their property to provide good education for their children. But Children think 20 times before purchasing an Return Air-ticket for USD 1200 for their father or make their father fly via TIMBUKTU to New York because they get a discount of $40 on a specific airline. They are not bothered if their father has to spend 6 hours in a Transit Lounge without Vegetarian food. Children do not process a Visa for their parents when they are working in US before their marriage. The moment their wife is pregnant they move heaven and earth and process Visa for their Mother or Mother-in-law because they want their wife to start work and earn ($65 per hour) within 20 days of delivering a child and consider $100 on food expense on Mother/Mother-in-law worth it when compared to Day care of $750 per month.
This is sad state and its very true.
Ok you wasted 4 years in engineering. So what? It is not the end of life. Parents can be overbearing at times and force us in to making careers choices based on their perspective on things without really knowing where our calling is. Doing what you like is freedom, liking what you do is happiness. Start liking what you’re doing. I don’t believe in donations so don’t blame your parents for refusing to pay such a heavy sum even if they forced you in to a course you despise. The way we do anything is the way we do everything. Point is our attitudes are reflected in the way we approach such situations. So stop whining and put yourself together and look at things from a different perspective. Every cloud has a silver lining.
Dear Friend,
It’s really no the end of life and start the new beginning with fresh ideas and courage. I think if wnat to do something in biology or related discipline go for it, there are many disciplines where careers of engineers can be moulded to biology and that is infact a multidisipline studies where engineers are learning biology and developing solution for the biology related problems so get the ideas and before that study it on internet so that new idea can be harvested in your mind. There is always possibility to give 180 degree twist in your life. Believe in it and start to do it.
Also, do you know how much 10 Lakhs is, particularly for a 50k earning parent ? You will know once you searching for a job and start earning!
All the best.
(Sorry, I mentioned the name “Raghu” it was not him)
50k per month is not a lot and its tough to save 10 lakhs. Its even tough to save 10 lakhs while earning in USD.
to save 10 Lakhs (USD 20,000) when a person is working in US one should work for minimum two years at USD 65,000 salary. This is considering a person is having a car and tries to lead a good life. Independent room even if you are sharing an apartment.
Raghu as most of the comments are suggesting more or less the same thing, by now you should have started to think about this situation more globally,
First, accept what has happened.
Second, there is nothing to blame others (parents here)
Third, Learn about mistakes (Crying dosent change life, you should have explained to your parents in such a way that they would accept what you are trying to say. All obstacles are handled with “Determination & Tactics”)
Fourth, Make change (As of now you are into engineering, you can finish your Bachelor degree and apply for a biology related engineering (eg) Master of Science in Micro Biology/Computational Biology then PhD degree in a more health science related subject etc in USA and that is 100% possible with sincere efforts, finally you can regain your dream life in a couple of years to come !)
Source : My own experience (I was made to join Electrical & Electronics Engineering, but I was interested in teaching and new technology. I completed Bachelor degree in CS in addition to EEE and worked for 3 years and now pursuing M.S Research in Information Technology, specializing in Educational Technology)
I feel ple get rid of your negativity..it will land you no where in your life…I understand what you went through when you were not allowed to pursue your dreams but think again over…they must have their own valid reasons…MBBS studies is quiet tough, even if you would have managed to get admission…problem with our teenagers is they think of a dream and they feel its a easy path….now since u are in Engg field and still miss Bio…my simple advice would be to go for Masters in Biotechnology….Qualification help us to get the job we want…but are not the only deciding factor…there are many other personality traits…with so much of grudge and complaints against the family…its not good for u…Wish u all the best!!….May you climb higher heights in wherever you land….
Parents refused to pay donation Rs. 10.0 Lakhs. This is the right thing. If you have got 43,000 RANK what kind of a doctor you could be after MBBS?
Children think paying 10.0 Lakhs donation should be done. But this is equivalent of Rs. 10,000 lost per month for 20 years (EMI). Children think 10 times about buying an Return Airticket for their father costing USD 1200 when they are earning USD 65,000 per year in USA.
Dude honestly their is difference of 1 subject Biology and Maths. If you have done well with then you would have not got that bad rank. And mind you 50 K per month is not that big amount. By that rank you would have surely not made into any medical college. So, stop blaming your parents. It take 100 times more efforts to get in medical college that to get in an engineering college.
Hi,
I generally do not post comments, but watching the header I just could not stop myself from posting one.
Blaming your parents is not a correct solution for your problem. As I read your post, I believe that your father took a decision for you as he did not have faith/ confidence in your’s. Convincing or making your point of thinking very clear to others is very important soft skill (your dad in this case).
On the other hand life is all about few compromises, there’s no one in this world who only did only what he wanted to. I think it’s time for you to think constructively about what you have in hand and what’s the best you can make out of this. I am not in favor of skewed arguments be it on your behalf or your father’s.
Extremely sorry if this doesn’t match with any one’s line of thinking, but this is my opinion in this case.
Thanks,
Raviteja
Hi Raviteja,
I do agree with the compromise part, but not the “father did not have confidence in you” part. If you fail in something you wanted to achieve badly, you at least know you tried. But for people who are studying for the sake of it, just because they were led to, life becomes very insecure for them, and they begin to lose confidence. I am not in favor of calling your father foolish and bashing him on public forum. But I do agree from my personal experience that they should at least try to comprehend what his child wants to become and guide him/her by pointing out the right and wrong decisions and steps.
Also I believe, if you want your son to be a doctor or an engineer, pave a path for it from his childhood by inculcating an interest in the field, and not just burden him/her with a sudden decision in the middle of his/her 12th standard.
I am a father who is about to retire by the fag end of this year. I am a science graduate working in chemical industry. I have a daughter who is 23 year old about to complete her post graduation in Genetic Engineering by end of June 2013.When she was in 12th, she told me that she wanted to do doctorate in Genetic Engineering. I was little hesitant as the subject according to me yet to blossom in India that was in 2008.Still, I allowed it considering the quote given below. I had to interfere in certain things to see that she does lose track.I do understand parents in India look for their unexecuted dreams to take place through their kids. I ensured that I would not be financially dependent on her in time to come.
I can certainly understand your pain. But It is no use crying over spilt milk. One can succeed in any given profession provided you put your heart into it. I would like to repeat a quote.
“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michaelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.
One cannot be destroyed without his own permission. Take life is the stride and make it work.Do not be cry baby. Sorry son. Have a nice day.
Deshpande S.K.
He refused to pay the donation which was 10 lakhs even when he was earning 50k per month ( Central Government ).
what kind of ridiculous statement is this? i’m glad that we don’t have a doctor who’s morally corrupt and thinks “donation ok”. i’m glad that we have honest dad who refuses to pay donation.
have you ever heard the proverb – jo hota hai bhale ki liye hi hota hai / bhagwan jo karta hai achche ke liye hi karta hai?? you could’ve solved your problem diplomatically. you could’ve told your parents “let me study medicine first and then i’ll go for engg as per your wish”. if they’ve replied “why not engg first and then mbbs” then you could’ve justified it by saying that there’s an age limit for medicine entrance. and i don’t mean bluffing your parents. i know a person who was interested in acting. he honored his family wish and studied engg first and then went into nautanki. i hope you’d get it now.
Basically, in India there is somethig called Management Quota where not so brilliant students who cant get into the merit list, can get admission into a pvt. but good college by paying some extra money called donation. All pvt colleges have this Quota and they charge unimaginable anount in the form of donation. its a win-win situation for both college management & not-so-brilliant students, student gets best campus, college gets huge donation.
Same happened with me….i am also from ap and the same narayana….even i too got the same rank of 40k and im studying engg. in almost the similar type of clg where the minimal facilities are just too much to ask….
so i think i can give you advise since u are in a similar position …
“Concentrate only on your Core since your father is a central govt. employee go for gre and do MS ”
or as a 2 option “join in a good networking course or a programing lang course and complete it … hopefully you maybe able to get if not a Best job atleast a good one”
Ha! So, your parents did you, right? Man, Your parents are not your enemies, they do what they think is right for you. If you had such a strong motivation towards biology, you could have easily convinced your daddy that you would join a coaching, not for IIT-JEE but a PMT ! But you probably were not that sure and you are blaming your parents for your failures. And calling your ‘dad’ who brought you up ‘foolish’ on a public blog for not spending Rs. 10 lakhs as donation to make up for your failures. What a loser you are! Your dad did the right thing not to invest in you at that time. If you still feel you are excellent, I am sure you will find a way out instead of being a cry-baby here. Most people from India come to US due to their hard work and excellence and boldly facing adversities, especially financially. I am one of them and thus, I can say there is nothing that can ever stop you if you are determined to do what you want. Parents always help, do not impede.
P.S. – Do not get me wrong. I generally don’t comment on blogs. But addressing your father as ‘foolish’ provoked me. Just want to set you on the right track. Before getting on the right track, one must have a right mindset.
Very true Abhinav.
His post reflects his attitude and respect toward assigned responsibility and family.
Any one can achieve possibly anything if thy have right attitude toward goal and personal behavior. Many people don’t have such good family backup as he had. Unfortunately he must spent energy and time in blaming instead of gaining..
@Abhinav, 100% agree with your opinion!
Hey dude
Sorry to hear that you had to do something which you don’t enjoy. However, I would say you can still do lots of things you can still do which you enjoy. Bachelors is just a step that you just finished. But I would say you don’t need to disappoint. Even with this degree there is lots of things you can find out which you enjoy. Its of no use to curse your father. What happened is happened. So its the time to move ahead and search for some thing you enjoy.
Wish you best of luck and Happy new year.
Agreed.
Sometimes, parents circle of trust is limited to friends, relatives and family members. Problem arises when the amount of knowledge between that circle is limited.
Its ok man. Thank god u are still alive after going through hell.
Be happy you living the life that millions still dream of.
Contact me if u need any help.
aptest thought!!!! add to that, sometimes people around you create too much pretensive concerns about you infront of your parents. Makes them insecure.
Dear readers,
If you are a parent please let kids take decisions regarding career.I never listened to my parents regarding my career.I told them that I am taking mechanical engineer as my career, they insisted me to join IT/CSE till the end of counselling .Now I am very happy with a secure job.Recession in 2008 made them realize that they were about to ruin my career.
Students who wish to chase their dreams ,please don’t listen to others just have a backup plan when things go wrong or out of control
There is never an end to life. Till will definitely end when you start blaming it. Don’t ever blame your parents, family, friends or anyone, including you for the things that happen in your life. Everything happens for a reason. There are so many bio related engineering subjects.
If you cant get something which you thought could make you happy, just be happy with what you have. That’s should be your policy. Just move on and work hard for your future. Now that you are self sufficient, make your own decisions.
Good luck.
My story was kinda exact reverse on the same path. I did not want to be a doctor and hated bio. I wanted to study physics. But my dad was stubborn enough not to even notice how I loathed bio. I took my medical entrances 5 times (yes…for 5 years, but while pursuing my BSc) and never got through. As a consequence to this, I had to pursue a career in bio sciences (so that it helps in my medical preps like..forever!!), and am still pursuing so. Not that I like it awesomely, but more out of compulsion for a respectable career. I am sure you will prosper in some path, but studying/doing what you dont love to do makes you unhappy forever. I do hope our parents understand that!
He can now get into Bio-Informatics or even do MS in Biology. Then do MD in USA (Doctor). If he’s really passionate, then he has options.
absolutely, theres also biomedical engineering which is one of the best fields in biosciences.
doing MD now will be less efficient then MD after MBBS na. i suggest him to establish in good position in his field.
no in US, I guess MD is one of the most respected degrees.
doing MD now will be less efficient than doing MD after MBBS.i suggest him to establish in good position in his field.
If you blame your parents for this, its like someone blaming their parents for an arranged marriage gone wrong. If you could not stand up to your parents at the right time, then all your previous school education was wasted on you. Why didn’t you remember what you were taught in school when confronting your parents? Your efforts at protesting were obviously not creative, and seemed to be half-hearted. Why? Because if it had worked out well, you would have taken the credit. Since it didn’t, you are blaming your parents.
You “cried in front of them”! What a wuss! Why didn’t you get a can of petrol and threaten to burn down the house while they were sleeping in it. Then they would have seen your motivation to study medicine. You think when a doctor is told to terminate a patient, he cries to save his patient’s life. I am glad I don’t have a doctor like you.
Anyways, education is not meant for you to get a job or lots of money. Even monkeys and guinea pigs get jobs in scientific laboratories. Education is meant to increase your awareness about your rights, your purpose, etc.
Use your current education and knowledge; open a business; take help from your friends, family, and contacts; do what you want; and be happy. Anyways, when you die, you will have to go empty-handed, no matter what. So, might as well try to help other people while your ranting.
dude, with all due respect, everyone cannot be that aggressive. How I wish I could be! and if he threatened to burn down house, what his parents would have done is ground him for 2 weeks…thats it. It doesnt help!!!
If you can’t save your own future from your own parents, how you going to manage against other people who don’t care whether you live or die?
Anyways, we should not jump to conclusions only by hearing his side of the story. Maybe his parents will give a different version of the whole thing.
I agree, I know exactly what happens when you become aggressive. You have got to use tactics, sell the course to your family like your sold on it. Its tougher than clearing an entrance exam, but worth the effort.
I meant for aggression to be a last resort, if tactics don’t work. However, it is not right to blame his parents for not paying for his subsidized medical education for 5 years, when he was not even ready to get aggressive to acquire it.You need some level of aggression to pursue an advanced course for 5 years, and then pay back your countrymen for subsidizing your education through their taxes (the last thing on the mind of IITians).
This guy makes it seem like he will use his countrymen’s taxes to go for a holiday, and its his father’s fault for not allowing him.
Dont blame your parents………….if you would had been that much longing for biology you could have asked them to make you have both PCB and PCm.But you didnt have that much courage. you are a coward……nothing less then that……………………and you not getting any placement coz you dnt try hard…………….everything is earned…..nothing is deserved here. And my friend you are still living in fantasy world.
I agree with you except of one thing…Placement..
Do you know how placements work in such colleges() around Hyderabad..?
No company would ever visit campus to take atleast one candidate and off campus placements are a joke..
What kind of a comment is this are you mentally retarded or what he is already going through stress and you want to add more stress to him . You should be supportive instead of bashing him. His parents forced him ok and not everyone can stand in front of their parents and speak whatever they want maybe his parents are very strict so don’t call him a coward because you are one .
This will be the most odd comment I have ever written.
Dude, I feel for you.
I guess this is the story of many of us. Most of us just don’t whine or are probably happy with what we are doing.
I am a engineer coz my parents wanted me to be. My dreams were anyway on a road less traveled and had a very high risk of failure. I don’t complain coz I am successful and its fun to be a engineer. This said, once in a while I think of what I wanted to be and that makes me sad.
In karnataka we have 4 core sub. in puc i.e 11std like PCMB , PCM is common and we can choose biology, cs,electronics etc unlike andra.Students will be more clear about there interest’s in b.tech or medical in 12 std than 10.
I am not sure how much feasible this is for you. But after coming to US I realized that, students here study whatever they want and whenever they feel. Education has no age limit as it is typically in India. As an American you will never be in your situation and if you are, you may try to get some job earn money and support your education with biology. If you think you should really stand for your dreams, you can do it now also. Financial dependency is the key factor that all Indian students end up doing something which they never wanted. All the best!
This article http://www.happyschoolsblog.com/college-major-career-paths/ is the perfect example to show how people change career’s after college.
Past is past… Present is Best. Work for the future.
I know you wont have job satisfaction, But Its not worth worrying for the rest of life.
Hi Raghu,
I am planning to do MBA and I am planning to give GRE as many good ranked Universities accept GRE score also but I am in confusion because none of my friends are unaware of this and they tell it is not a good idea to do GRE for MBA ……..Are they correct????I am extremely worried…….Please enlighten me ……..
Hi Rahul
If you are sure you want to do MBA, then why not take the GMAT directly which is accepted more for MBA programs.
Hi Rahul,
If you are intending to do an MBA from a good school, leave alone top-tier schools, then you have to take up GMAT and not GRE. Very few schools that are good accept GRE score. There is a vibrant community at GMATClub or BeattheGMAT.com, which can provide all the information related to your MBA application processes. Thanks.
Hmm.. It is sad but I think it is better late than never. This happened to my sister too, she was hell bent on doing Hotel Management but my parents put her in an MPC program, and unfortunately she fared pretty bad and also did not have a good EAMCET rank to join engineering. She finally did her BSc and planned to go for an MBA, but my parents intervened again and asked her to do MCA so she can that way get into IT. But she put her foot down and did her MBA in finance.