HSB017: Here’s How I Studied Abroad in France With 4 Year Old Kid

Totally unexpected.

I opened a word document.

Then I inserted a table with one row and one column. In other words, just one box.  I started writing.

I wrote an email for the news letter. I wrote the content for the newsletter about new feature called Ask An Attorney.

Then, I opened my email provider to send the newsletter, I have to complete about 8 steps to send the news letter.

One of the step was to select a template (from list of existing templates). I took an pre-written template. I went back to word document. Then copied the three pages long content. Switched back to the template and pasted the contents.

Then, I spent 10 more minutes to edit the contents. Then, inserted the link to Ask An Attorney Page.

After saving the changes I hit Send. So, far everything went according to the plan. I should have done his over 4000 times in last 8 years.

Replies Started Coming In

After 4 hours, Madhu asked me to change the photo in this blog post 25 Random Things About Raghu.

I replied, “Why are you asking to update the photo on this post  and why did you go to that link?”.

She: “This link was included in today’s email”.

I: “What? How did this link get into today’s email? I did not add that link”.

In meantime, I was getting replies from my dear readers. They were introducing themselves. I was confused.

I wasn’t sure why more than 100 readers are replying back to my email and this typically doesn’t happen. Then I went back to read the email I had sent out. Guess what?

That copy paste, editing of contents from word document did not work.

• Did I copy and paste? Yes.
• Did I edit new content? Yes.
• Did I delete the old contents? Yes.

But, the email system, mailed the contents from the old template. So, it was a screw-up. But, it ended up to be a good thing. Infact a wonderful thing.

Why?

Jancy sent the following  reply.

[dropcap]I[/dropcap] joined the blog when I was h4 and I wanted to know options. Your post are informative, although I might use it in life it helps me keep my mind open.

Right now what struck me was the fact that your wife is doing masters with a 5 yr old!

I would love hear how she manages and what made her to take that path. I now have a job in US as iOS developer. But I would love to do Masters necessary, advantage and especially the drive your wife had to do it.

Please continue this awesome blog and thanks for helping all followers.

Thanks for being wonderful reader. Good to see  that Madhu’s Study abroad MGIM program motivated you. It wasn’t easy on our family.

Three of us were in 3 different continents for 6 months.

• I was here in the U.S.
• Madhu was studying in France
• Rishi was with his grandparents in India.

If we had thought, it was difficult, then what’s the point of me running the blog and promoting Study Abroad and higher education, when we can’t live by example within our family?

Listen to the Show

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As you heard it, here’s summary of what I wrote for the show.

She would getup at 5 AM, study till 7:30 AM. Then get Rishi ready for school. Drop him at School at 8:45 AM an go to library to Study for GRE.

While this is happening, I would be doing what I do – Blogging and my Full time job. Sometimes, I would drop Rishi at school and go to office.

She would come back home around 3:30PM, pick him from the school, finish home work, feed him dinner or cook dinner for us.

I would come back from work at 6 PM or so. Then she would go back to library to study till it closes at 9 PM. By then, we will be done with our dinner, tuck him to bed. So, this was her schedule for about 3 to 4 months during her GRE prep stage.

Reasons Why A Indian Mom Wouldn’t Want to Study with Kids

1. How can I find time with toddler at home?
2. Would we have money to pay for college fees?
3. My husband can’t cook and take care of the kids
4. Who will tkae him to soccer practice and swim classes?
5. I’m not sure I can go back to study after 5 years break
6. I don’t think I can study for GRE and  take TOEFL.
7. Who will drop him at school and pickup back from school
8. What will my in-laws and relatives think about me back in India?
9. What is the ROI by spending thousands of dollars
10. I just don’t want to put in the effort. I’m happy watching and TV at home.
11. Should I convert to F1 or study in H4?
12. I don’t think I will get admission in colleges near our home
13. What if I have to stay away from my family?
14. What if my son needs me and I cannot be there for him?
15. Who will take care of my family?
16. I don’t want to take any risk in my life.

I provide consulting and spoke to several H4 spouses who can’t find a way to go back to school. But, studying is a beautiful thing and this is how we made it work.

When you have a goal, don’t find reasons to avoid making progress to achieve that goal.

It’s human tendency to resist change. If you think about challenges, then even simple problems look magnified.

This the exact conversation we had about the decision of going back to school.

Question: What program around RTP area have 1 year course in Management.

We found two Universities with 4 programs:

• Duke University
  • MMS
  • Engineering Management
• North Carolina State University
  • MGIM (France)
  • Masters in Global Luxury Management (France)

Next, we had to find answers to the following

• What kind of program do they offer?
• Should we apply for those program?
• What is the admission requirements?
• Does Madhu have academic profile strong enough to get admission?
• Can we build an academic profile to get admitted into the programs?
• Should we apply for Spring or Fall semester?

After finding answers to above questions

Duke University looked like a long shot. But, she applied.  She got interview.

NCSU program was good fit, but one semester will be in France.

Remember the reason we listed above that could possibly prevent someone from going back to school?

Now, you need to add another complicating factor: Study in France.

Not within North Carolina, not in a different state within America, but in France.

I’m pretty sure, 99% of the folks would say no and that’s end of the road.

She asked me “Do you think I should Study in France?”

I looked at her and said “Yes, you should apply for that program“.

Here’s the thing. I didn’t hesitate for a second.

We didn’t think about reasons not to apply. We didn’t think about expense. We didn’t think about challenges.

We didn’t discuss about reasons why she shouldn’t Study in France or apply for MGIM program.

So, our mind was set. Now, how do we make this work? Then we asked the following questions:

• Where can I find money to pay for the expenses?
• What can we do with Rishi?
• How do we buy the flight ticket to optimize the route and save on airfare expenses?

As you can see, we are finding a way to make studying abroad possible.

It wasn’t a question of why we shouldn’t study abroad, it was the question of how are are gonna make this work. And she graduated this May after spending one semester in France and One semester in NCSU campus here in Raleigh.

Graduation Photos from NCSU (May 2015)

 

 

Listen the show about how we made this work.

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I will bring Madhu on the show for next episode.

What questions do you have for her?

Post them in the comments below. I will ask her the same.
Update 1: H4 visa spouses who will apply )or applied) for H4 EAD and had a break in career after coming to USA may have to plan to go back to school to improve your career opportunities.