What this Wife in H4 Visa Did for Her Birthday is Genius. Actually Crazy Too.

Jeetsu Ahuja H4 Visa 17 Comments

Jeetsu Ahuja is on H4 Visa ( wife of H-1B Visa Worker). Being a wife in H4 visa in USA is kind of a curse.

Read her previous article : What this Wife of H1B Visa Worker Said About America is Shockingly True and Sad, you will truly understand the meaning of  the curse.

Jeetsu share’s her excitement and what she did in the month of June even though, she wasn’t selected in the H-1B Visa 2015 Lottery.

wife in h4 visa

Image  by Flickr ( Author Not  Pictured)

… Enter Jeetsu

The sixth month of the year, when most of the countries are getting plagued by the soaring temperature and getting agitated of the heat, I call it my favorite month of the year. It’s what I lovingly call the “Happy June’.

Each of it’s day has to be special and happy.

No, not because I’m a heat lover or I get to see some exotic bugs during this time, but because the summer solstice brings in my birthday every year.

 

That might sound crazy to some. Such fuss over a birthday…Bah, it’s just another day in the calendar, one might think. But it’s alright, that’s the way a lot of people perceive it (psst my husband is one of them too)

However, unlike a lot of homes, birthdays in my family, have always been extremely special. It is supposed to be YOUR day and every single moment of the day was made special by people around us.

 

As a kid, it meant a day when I could get away with any blunders I commit, without getting bashed by my parents.

I could even break a glass and not get scolded!!

It meant getting a dedicated ‘birthday shopping’ day during the week, the living room being decorated with streamers & balloons, dressing up in the ‘birthday dress’, getting to ask for anything on the planet as my ‘birthday gift’ and getting pampered like a princess.

Over the years, I grew up and came to realize that my birthday enthusiasm works directly proportional to my age.

I continued celebrating my birthday ‘month’ or the ‘Happy June’ which constitutes of a lot of planning for the d-day, ‘birthday shopping’ (yes, it is a part of the tradition that is going to continue for the rest of my life) and doing something that I have never done before.

It could be the smallest of things like running down an up escalator or getting a tattoo.

I don’t mind continuously reminding people around me for the big day approaching, doing a ‘birthday’ countdown. I just find it all insanely fun.

However, now, after so many years of such madness, I feel a change in my childlike excitement for my birthday.

Life has change upside down in the past year, after I got married.

I am now half the globe away from all the people I called life.

All I have in the name of family here is my husband, who for the records, not only respects my birthday mania but also tries to be a part of it.

But he has a life of his own and contrarily I don’t have much in my life since I’m the infamous H4 wife living in the United States. There is only so much that he can do to make up for my void.

Being a Wife in H4 Visa is a Curse

My H4 status doesn’t allow me to work, so I have no office buddies.

Unlike the people who have been here for higher studies, I have not been to school in the US, giving me no college friends. Since I moved in with my husband, I never had any roommates or flatmates here.

My independent connections here are limited to Publix/ Walmart cashiers, sales people in the mall or the Dunkin guys where I usually go for a coffee and write.

It’s specially during my ‘Happy June’ that I missed family and friends the most, my colleagues at work, my travel mates, my neighbor friends, who willingly or unwillingly, all were a part of my June frenzy.

 

I miss the time when I used to meet people on appointments on my birthday, when more than often the occasion was celebrated more than once, when I used to count the number of birthday cakes I use to cut….Sigh!

 I could never imagine that a practical person like me, can miss such small small things so much, which I probably took for granted back then.

It’s not that I’m unhappy with my life here, it’s just that I miss my old life too.

 

The US might have given me a lot in terms of a great married life and an even greater standard of living, but it has also taken a lot from me in return…my friends, my family, my financial independence.  Nevertheless, I am now trying to create a life of my own too here.

 

After not making the H1B lottery this year, I have decided to join school for some personal enrichment programs.

I am pinning my hopes on the EAD for H4 Visa Spouses to come to force, or I’m going to try my luck in the next year lottery again.

God willing, I shall be able to grow over this phase soon, because every night is necessarily followed by a bright day.

 

Coming back to my birthday, I had another great one this year. We made a road trip out of it and drove to Orlando, where I was made the ‘Minnie’ and celebrated my ‘Disney Birthday’.

What do you guys do for your birthday?

Do share… I might use some ideas for next year! 🙂

My next article is about how I meet my Husband in Africa.  Yes, you read it right. Africa.

Over To You

Are you on H4 Visa?

What are you doing to keep your hope’s up and high?

P.S. Do you want to share your experience of living in USA on H-4 Visa? Let me know or leave a comment, I will get back to you.

Don’t forget to share this article with your friends.

Comments

  1. Hi Jeetsu, loved reading your post as I can directly relate to you… the joy of birthday month when you wanna get away with everything because it’s your birthday and friends and family made efforts to make you feel special on your day. Nevertheless, I too am on H4 dependant visa, who once had a fare career back home. The difference is.. I enrolled in my second masters program a year and a half back and now I’m almost half done. While the news of EAD for h4 spouses did sound like a beam of light, I do hope becomes an interim sometime soon this year. You don’t know how wonderful it feels to get back to school for a purpose. You’ll feel a lot more younger, energetic and motivated to do well in school. So enjoy this phase of life and be assured you’ll get up one morning to a new sunshine.

  2. Hi Kitty,
    Thank you so much for the encouragement. I have joined school too this summer. Will be sharing my experiences soon:)
    Meanwhile I just need readers like you to keep my morale high.
    Kudos!

  3. Hi Jeetsu,
    Another page of your words, I loved it..more or less we are on the same shores..Each and every words in this page , took me back to my cherishing memories ..I too missed my family and friends on my big day..Good luck for your future!

    regards,
    Vaishali

  4. Hi
    Same story is with me.
    I got married in feb n i came to USA in april on h4 visa

  5. Hi Jeetsu,
    I read your article. It was really touching. I am also an H4 spouse in US. I too miss my family and friends,but I also understand that life never remain same every time. It always brings new challenges to us. Before marriage I was a very busy working girl, but since 1 year after my marriage I am at home. In the beginning of my life in US I too used to think about my H4 to be a curse. But now I just want to say that no one can stop you from making yourself happy. I found my happiness at home. I used to cook delecieous food every weekend and call all my husband’s friends for dinner. We eat, talk and enjoy a lot which makes me happy. Also I love to do creative things at home, like making paintings or wall arts kind of things, gardening which are also appreciated by everyone. I used to renovate my home on my own every month just using my creative mind without spending any money. After doing all this I feel short of time to do some more things. Also my husband feels so happy when he see me so busy at home doing all this stuff. I have also joined school this summer so that I can explore more. I don’t know when I will get a chance to start my job here in US. The thing I only know is, I should remain happy and make everyone around me happy in any condition.

    All the best for your life. Be happy and stay blessed.

  6. This is one very well written post. Congrats Jeetsu.

    I must make 1 small comment though. As much as I understand and feel for the pain of being on H4, I find it a little extreme to call it a curse. The reason being it’s essentially a choice you made (or all H4s make). It’s unfortunate that you (and other H4s) are not allowed to work but you always knew what you were getting into.

    1. Hi Vishal,
      Thank you so much for the input. But just wanted to clarify that I never use such strong words like curse to describe my situation anywhere in my writing. The first paragraph is from the blog moderator, not from me. I totally agree with you that it was my own choice that I made. My situation may be bad but it definitely isn’t a curse!!

      1. Hi Jeetsu,

        I apologize if I was a little rash in my comment. I kind of felt that you were a seasoned writer and that’s why the words like curse sounded weird to me.

        Now that you have clarified that it wasn’t you who used the word ‘curse’, I like your writing. Good job

          1. I’m in my own native country. Your in someone else’s country without proper papers as a dependent. So you tell me who is the loser? And how do you pronounce your name?

  7. it was really gud for me seeing ur article..as even im facing the same situation as ur’s…

  8. You are a parasite who jumped on the back of your spouse to come here. Your spouse was brought here by our businesses so he can work hard and cheap, no other reason. What is the difference between you and the illegals? Is your country no good that you have to be a burden for the people of the United States? Illegal immigrant or legal immigrant there is no difference in the view of the American people, you all are considered the same. I could stalk any website as I choose, I work for the government. You don’t have to tell me what an H4 visa holder is, I know DHS policies like many Americans born and raised here.

    1. I understand your forefathers came here in a boat, any idea where did they come from?
      And yes, you are right, my husband indeed works very hard… But I can put my money on the fact that the money he pays in taxes is more than what you make in a year! So while he opens his 21 year old bottle of scotch, you can enjoy your Jim Beam on the weekend.

      1. My forefathers built America into a world power. People come from many places initially, that is how a country is formed hundreds of years ago, it is true for every country. However, that is not an excuse for someone who just came here recently without any shame to justify themselves. We don’t need your husbands taxes, nor your burden, we get 4 fold contributions from the people that were raised and work here at the same pay scale. I don’t believe a person working as an analyst makes more than I make at all, you can tell this story to people back in India and they might believe you, not here. Anyway, I feel sorry for your husband because he has to deal with a materialistic flake like you on a daily basis.

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