Bachelors Degree in America – This is How I Convinced My Parents
Do you want to How to Convince Parents to Study Bachelors Degree in US?
I read this comment posted by Sahil at This Crazy Decision to Study in USA is Going To Change My Future
Hi! I am Sahil and am currently in class 12th (physics, chemistry, maths) I aspire to do my undergraduate studies in “industrial design” or “mechanical engineering” from a US university.
I have selected my universities and researched a lot about this, the problem I’m facing is that my parents are not supporting me. They say that I should do engineering and not industrial design and secondly they are asking to study B.Tech from India and go abroad only for post graduation.
I gave the SAT in 11th but my parents didn’t not even allow me to touch the SAT Prep Books. I got a score of 1940. Now, I’m in senior year in high school, done with my SAT preparation they are reluctant to even register for SAT.
One more reason that they are avoiding sending me abroad is because they fear that if I get racially assaulted or become a victim of ragging it would be very difficult for them to help me. In defense when I told them that according to statistics Indian colleges have the highest suicide rates.
I just hate rote learning and am not able to do it. I love doing practical stuff like mailing science projects, designing blueprints of my new ideas and designs which led to choosing industrial design as my preferred course, but parents don’t understand this. Please help me and tell me how to convince them? I would really appreciate if you could write a blog for students like me.
This post is for students like Sahil, who are passionate to Study Bachelors Degree in USA, but lack parents support for their quest. When it comes to graduate students, parents aren’t as conservative as they are when it comes to undergraduates.
Obvious enough, you are still in your teenage and your parents either feel you aren’t independent enough or they find your bachelor’s abroad unnecessary/not worth the money spent (I won’t be surprised if they have both the feelings).
Indian parents are very protective about their children. So don’t expect them to readily second your study abroad decision. This could be overcome by clear thinking and some patience.
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Parents: Study Bachelors Degree in America
Here’s a list of to do’s which would help you out.
- Speak Up
- Make them aware
- Clear Their Misconceptions.
- Assure That You Will Be Responsible.
- Traditional Issues and Cultural Issues?
You might be very passionate about American education, but you fail to make your parents understand what it means to you.
Be coherent and speak up. Discuss with them the advantages and disadvantages.
Simultaneously, make sure you give them their own time and avoid being pushy. Remember, you have to discuss, not debate.
Make them aware
They might feel that it’s too early for you to leave your home country for education.
Make them read- Why study Bachelors Degree in USA.
Most of the times, they don’t have a clear idea about the financial requirements and they presume the American education and living expense to be very expensive, this post will help – Total Cost of Bachelors Degree in USA.
Clear Their Misconceptions
On an average, Indian parents aren’t technologically and globally updated. They might be afraid that you may have to face predicaments such as racism, bullying, illnesses and such other factors.
Let them know how US laws support anti-racism and anti-bullying. Laws in the US are strictly implemented.
Introduce them to Skype, if in case they aren’t aware. International calling cards have also become very affordable.
Health care in the US is good and you have a health insurance that pays the bills. Due to the clean environment, it’s rare that you contract a disease.
Assure That You Will Be Responsible!
This especially happens with mothers. She might have discussed your plans with her friends or relatives.
Be prepared that they will point her out about the American culture, indicating that you may get wasted. You have to assure her that you will stick to the discipline she raised you with. If you know an elderly person in the US, let him tell your mom that you are in safe hands.
If you have got your friends there, connect your mom to their parents in India. This definitely works.
I would like to explain this with an example. My friend got his F1 visa and was about to depart in two months, when his grandfather put a word of restriction.
He had some traditional views like “what’s the need of going abroad when we have everything in our county? We have two industries which work efficiently” etc.
Without his Grandfather’s permission it was impossible for him and his parents to go head ways.
Thanks to one of his mentor for convincing his grandpa. His mentor pointed out a resemblance.
Quoting the mentor (Translated from Hindi to English)-
“Grandpa, it’s not his fault but yours. He is exactly on your lines. If you wouldn’t have left you village for Mumbai, he wouldn’t have thought of this option. Even your grandfather would have said ‘what’s the need to go to Mumbai when we have everything in our village? We have huge farms/cows’. But you didn’t pay heed and now you have a good lifestyle. So please let him make his own future.”
Needless to say that the explanation worked and my friend made it to the land of opportunities in August 2012.
I hope the approach in this post helps you successfully convince your parents. Good luck for your American Dream. Let me know what happens!
Over to You
- How did you convince your parents to study abroad for Bachelors or Masters degree?
- Did they agree to you as soon as you discussed the plans with them?
Thanks a Ton for this Pranav ! Really ! Thanks ……btw here’s an update …my parents didnt register me for SAT and this made me headstrong and a little angry so I applied for a SAT waiver and submitted my designs to collegeboard …..and guess what ?! I got a FULL SAT WAIVER + application fees of 10 colleges ( approx. $ 500) waived off !
I gave my SAT today and am expecting 2100+ …..lets see how my parents react now !
Thanks again !
Congrats Sahil! Not many get a SAT waiver.
I fully agree with Pranav, what ever he has written is 100% facts and nothing else.
I myself being a father and allowing, rather encouraging both my sons to go for studies in US, today gives me enormous amount of satisfaction that we took right decision and now my sons have a much better understanding of their field, much better career ahead.
Please go word by word as mentioned by Pranav and try to convince your parents.
But definitely you will have to maintain a very strict discipline on yourself, while in US.
I, being one of the parents can easily understand dilemma & apprehensions, your parents have and from their prospective they are absolutely right.
My only suggestion will be – Understand your family circumstances, financial situation and your own will power to maintain the self-discipline. All other apprehensions – as far as I know US now, are practically having very low existence. Rather, it may be more in our own country. Only thing that we don’t feel it.
After doing this study, if you are convinced that you have to go to US, convince your parents with all the facts. They will definitely understand you and will take a decision which will be for best for you.
with best wishes.
J K Jain
Hey Sahil what is you email?
grandpa dialog nails it! 🙂
Excellent post, Pranav!
Incidentally, it only takes one bad experience to influence your perception of a place. But if Sahil’s parents were to consider the statistical likelihood of a “racial assault,” for example, I dare say you have a far greater chance of being involved in a traffic accident in your hometown. But fear plays tricks on the mind, and so does the media.
True that, Gunnar. I totally agree.
Nice Post (Y) Keep Posting broda..!